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The Nerd Boner Alert: Things That Would Amuse Me if They Happened in the Avengers Movie

Katie Hutchison lists what she wants to see happen in the new Avengers movie in the latest installment of Nerd Boner Alert!


So the trailer for the Avengers movie is out and although I was initially unsure that an awesome movie with the Avengers could be made, I think that come May we will all be in for a treat. Now there has been a lot of speculation about what will be included and what may or may not happen. I am here to assist in that discussion by suggesting things that may or may not be included...but would amuse me to no end if they were.

1. Skaar shows up and he and his father destroy Loki's forces in a mega-Hulk showdown.

Likelihood of this happening: 1%

skaarLevel of my amusement if it did occur: 45% (it would depend on what Skaar looked like)

I've always had a soft spot for the Hulk's son Skaar, and he has come to the aid of the Avengers before by battling She-Hulk (Incredible Hulk #607, April 2010), but since Marvel Studios has not revealed that he has been cast it seems highly unlikely that he will be making an appearance. I do, however, see a lot of people who think that Loki will be taken down by the Hulk. I'm just not sure where I stand on that...

2. A cameo by any of the other Avengers.


cameoLikelihood of this happening: 65%

Level of my amusement if it did occur: Depending on the cameo, up to 70%

I would say the most likely scenario would be a scene where Fury attempts to recruit either Wolverine or Spider-Man, since they would be the most well-known of the other Avengers who have not made it into this movie. I would totally be down for cameos of Wasp (Janet van Dyne) or Ant-Man (Dr. Henry Pym). There have been cameos of others before (such as Wolverine in X-Men: First Class and Hank McCoy on the news in X2). Fans seem to enjoy them and I don't see why they wouldn't keep it up.

[Editor's Note: It's doubtful that either Wolverine or Spider-Man show up since the rights to the characters are currently held by other studios.]

3.  Thor is shirtless for at least one scene.

thor2Likelihood of this happening: 35%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 92%

Kenneth Branagh had Chris Hemsworth shirtless for a scene in Thor, so I don't see why we shouldn't have a repeat. Plus female (and a few male fans) across the globe would leave the movie just a tinge happier after seeing a shirtless representation of the closest we will ever get to a Norse god. Perhaps this is wishful thinking on my part... :P

4. Mention of Loki giving birth to Sleipnir.

loki_and_sleipnirLikelihood of this happening: 2%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 100%

In actual Norse mythology, Loki is the father of several children: Hel (who we know as Hela, the female ruler of the underworld in the comics, literally where we get the phrase "go to Hel(l)" from), the wolf Fenrir, the serpent Jörmungandr, Narfi (the "personified night" who is killed to punish Loki at one point), and Sleipnir, an eight-legged horse that he gave to Odin. All of his children were fathered by Loki while he was in his 'traditional' form, except Sleipnir, which he gave birth to as a mare.

For the most part none of this has ever really been touched on by the Thor comics, but I've always thought it would be wickedly amusing if during a battle of wits with Loki someone slammed him with a "well at least I never let a horse take me from behind." It's fairly difficult to come out ahead of Loki in those sorts of situations and I think this might actually stun him silent. However, since it has never come up in the comics it has a very low likelihood of ever occurring.

5. Tony Stark says something cheeky enough to Captain America to get punched in the face.


iron_man_and_capLikelihood of this happening: 15%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 45%

Tony Stark has always been cheeky. It's one of the reasons I love Iron Man so much. The trailer obviously shows us that the two of them might not get along perfectly at first (and screenwriters have noted that there will definitely be friction due to Rogers knowing Howard Stark), but Cap is pretty level-headed and wouldn't be one to just start a fight with an ally. Joss Whedon confirmed this in an interview, saying that he knows the Civil War timeline, but the movie will just feature "witty banter." If Tony does get punched in the face I'm sure he would learn his lesson pretty quickly (assuming he wasn't wearing his suit).

6. A mention of any of the Dark Avengers or Norman Osborn.

dark_avengersLikelihood of this happening: 20%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 80%

Writers have said that if there are more Avengers movies, the next film would not be about the superhero Civil War. Now there are any other number of things it could be about, but I think that Norman Osborn's Dark Avengers could be it, meaning this film could end with a sneak peek of this scenario. The major downside to having a movie with the Dark Avengers is that it could get really confusing (lots of back-story would be needed) and it would be an epically huge cast. Awesome though.

7. Loki disguises himself in his girl form.

girl_lokiLikelihood of this happening: 20%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 30%

This scenario does have two things working for it-- actor Tom Hiddleston has said that there is a lot more Loki magic in this film than there was in Thor, AND girl-Loki is incredibly strong, but I still don't think it will happen. If it does I would feel pretty bad for Hiddleston- -he's already said that Loki's helmet is awkward and heavy, I can't imagine he would want boobs as well. My amusement level would go up significantly if this does occur and girl-Loki flirts with an Avenger.
 

8. Hawkeye misses and accidentally shoots a fellow Avenger.

hawkeyeLikelihood of this happening: 0%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 15%

Clint Barton never misses.









9. Nick Fury is revealed to be a white guy.


furyLikelihood of this happening: 0%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 95%

Am I only one who thought the casting of Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury was weird? I always pictured Fury to look like the actor Stephen Lang who played the bad guy in James Cameron's Avatar. That being said, Jackson is certainly entertaining ("There are mother-fucking Lokis on this mother fucking plane?" I can hear it now...).



Loki_king10.   Loki wins.

Likelihood of this happening: 3%

Level of my amusement if this did occur: 75%

I think Loki will get the cosmic cube and ALMOST win, but then his pride will get the best of him, he'll attack Thor when he shouldn't OR try to take over all nine realms simultaneously, and the Avengers will unite to fight and defeat him together. This is pretty much the plot every time Loki comes to power. My amusement levels are high because I love Loki.

So what else do you all think will happen in the movie? Will any of my predictions come true? What's going to happen with Black Widow? Leave interesting and creative responses below!



Written or Contributed by: Katie Hutchison, Outhouse Contributor
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About the Author - Christian Hoffer


Christian Hoffer is the exasperated Abbott to the Outhouse's Costello. When he's not yelling at the Newsroom for upsetting readers or complaining to his wife about why the Internet is stupid, he sits in his dingy business office trying to find new ways to make the site earn money. Hoffer is also the only person in history stupid enough to moderate two comic book forums at once.

 


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