Written by Wisdom000
I realized something today boys and girls…. I realized it after an encounter with an attractive, if somewhat vacous, young lady.
I was talking to a friend about music, more specifically about the loss of all talent, heart, and meaning in today’s hip hop, and reminiscing about the hip hop of yesteryear, along the lines of Tribe Called Quest, De La Soul, Leaders of The New School, and the Goats, and that no hip hop artist introduced since 1998 has been worth two tugs of a dead dog’s cock. Apparently the young lady sitting next to us overheard this, and decided to join our conversation.Â
Her opening statement was simple. She said, “I love music, all kinds of music.” This intrigued me, so I pressed further. I asked her what were some of her favorite bands. The look of perplexion that crossed her face was not dissimiliar to that of a constipated senior citizen whose bowels have just loosened and is trying desperately not to shit herself. She named a few bands she claimed to like, then her frustration grew deeper when asked which were her favorite albums. You could almost see the light bulb flicker slowly on over her head as she responded “Well, I don’t really remember albums or songs, I just love music, all music, I don’t care what it is. My radio is always on, I can’t live without music. I love it all.” I let her sit there a moment, as she beamed in what she obviously thought was a justifiable response, one that proved she did indeed “love music”.
Then I simply turned away from her, and resumed talking with my friend. For you see, I knew at that moment, that his person could not possibly add to the conversation, no more than the kid in the helmet can deliver Shakespeare. You see, whenever someone says, “I love all music” but can’t tell you anything about the music they listen to, it basically means they have all the passion of a stone poking from beneath steaming fresh canine diahretic excrement. Their love and appreciation for music, is that of an infant’s love and appreciation for television. It doesn’t matter what’s on the television, an infant will sit there
staring at it with a look of sheer glee while drooling all over itself and sitting in its own fecal matter filled jammies. It’s no different with these people, as long as music is playing these mentally vacant souls will be happy. There is an old saying, something about dumb
animals and music, and never is it more true than with these sad individuals. It flips a switch for them, like auditory ritalin.
At this point you may be saying to yourself, “man, this Wisdom000 guy is a damn snob!” Of course you would be right. I am a snob, about a great many things. Music, books, games, comics, art, film, and much more. But I am not really a snob, what I am is passionate. When you love something, you learn as much about it as you can, you follow it with great interest, you learn to decipher what pleases you and what doesn’t. I don’t expect people to share all my tastes, or even any of them, but if you can’t intelligently and passionately discuss something you supposedly love, then please, just don’t open your mouth at all. And for the love of god stop breeding.
You may also be thinking, I am just being mean…. But let me remind you, it is people like this, people with no discerning taste, that have allowed musicians like Micheal Bolton, Celine Dion, N’Sync, Brittney Spears, New Kids On The Block, Kenny G, Billy Joel, and Christina Aguilera to flourish. It is people like this that have led to hip hop becoming nothing but vulgar catchphrases repeated over and over again, and country to go from deep-rooted songs filled with anguish and anger to any retard with a heavy twang and a geetar getting a record deal. It is people like this that keep easy listening stations afloat, because music any harder would actually cause them to listen, possibly think, and the level of pain and effort that would require is simply to much for them to bear.
Music goes straight to long term memory, once you have heard a song, you will never forget it. So when I say I hate these people, I have good reason. Because now, thanks to their oafishness, I have songs like “Genie in a Bottle” ingrained on my cerebrum, and no amount of drugs is ever going to remove them.
We live in an age where mediocity is the level to which we aspire to in all facets of our lives. Where being part of the lowest common denominator is something people take pride in. Where pro rasslin’ and reality TV are the highest rated shows on television, and people are proud to have never read a book. This must stop. If I have to drown every one of you bastards in tubs of man grase I will. Don’t force me…..
So please, for the love of god, for the salvation of mankind. When you meet these people, smack them repeatedly on the nose with a rolled up Superman comic.
Posted originally: 2006-10-26 15:14:48