Sunday, April 22, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "But first you're gonna blow me!"

Daddy Dearest

Written by Brian Burchette on Monday, November 24 2008 and posted in Features

Pop quiz time! What do Captain America, Batman, Flash, Aquaman, and Green Arrow all have in common? You got it! Young, impressionable, teen-age boys who are all seeking the same thing: "daddies". Oh come on! That's exactly what there doing, and deep down inside, you all know it.

And boy do comics have a wide variety of "daddies" to fit the bill. Let's run down the list, shall we.

  1. The Discipline Daddy: He's the father who's stern but complimenting. He demands that his "son" act a certain way, but knows that boys will be boys and always handle any mishaps with a stern dressing down. I never could figure out who enjoyed those dressing downs more, Cap or Bucky.


      2.  The Discipline Daddy Extreme: This is the daddy that it takes a very "special son" to love, but man do these boys LOVE them! These are some really sick and twisted young men. They want the daddies who border on actual abuse. They want to be ignored one moment, verbally abused the next, and when they do wrong, they yearn to be punished. And these daddies aim to please. Usual punishments will consist of something physical, something that makes them sweat, pant, and eventually beg the daddies to stop. Note: Nearly all of these daddies tend to have  some kind of basement dwelling to dole out the punishment in. I think we can all figure this one out.


3.  The Reluctant Daddy: Oh how he wants to be a real "daddy" to his "son", but he's afraid. There is usually more than one reason why he won't give in to his daddy urges. A. Somewhere deep down inside he just doesn't feel right about it, no matter what kind of puppy dog/yearning looks, the young man is giving him. B. He's the ruler of an underwater kingdom and is afraid that people might talk. You know those underwater dwellers; their so uptight.  


  1. The Fun Daddy: This one is my personal favorite! He enjoys every minute with his special young man and is happy to shower him with gifts, but at the end of the day, the kid better have somewhere to go and something to do, cause Daddy has his own business, and playtime is over. Note, it has been argued that these "son" can easily turn to drugs if not prepared for the "Fun Daddy".


  1. The Grounded Daddy: Get your minds out of the gutter; this is not what you think. This is the perfect Daddy for many young men, and these daddy's are very hard to come by (pun not intended - maybe). They are down to Earth and stable men, just wanting a young man to share in those wacky moments with them. There is a downside to these men, however; most of them are married. Yes for some reason, they want their pie and their hotdogs too. But when a young man finds a Grounded Daddy, it can be electric!


  1. The Reluctant Daddy: The saddest of all Daddy's because they never quite make it out of the yearning stage. Oh how they want a special "son" of their own. They want to make him feel special, needed, cared for; however, they are conflicted with some kind of moral issue that stops them. They live their life unfulfilled. You can find most of these Daddy's in the Boy Scouts or the priesthood.


So there you have it, the Daddy's and the sons that love them, for better or worse. Now you tell me these sidekicks don't have more hang ups then the men who have nurtured them.

Go here to discuss.



Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!