Monday, May 28, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "Blacklisted since 2012."

Fill My Stockings

Written by Brian Burchette on Wednesday, December 10 2008 and posted in Features

With the holiday upon us, I thought I'd make my own Geeky Gay Christmas list for the night Santa comes down my chimney. Oh, and this is what my Santa looks like:

And we won't even go into the chimney analogy....

Dear Santa,


I've been an awfully good boy this year and if you have a moment, there are just a few things I would love to have this holiday.


Let's get this out of the way, right off the bat - Dick. Please help DC give me more Dick. That's not too much to ask for, is it?


Since Joe Q. has basically warped the character of Spider-Man now, could you finally help break the over abundance of sexual tension between Peter and Norman, and just have them "do it", already. I haven't seen this much tension in a relationship since Dave and Maddie back in the 80's. This is a daddy/son yearning that has gone on too long.


Thongs for the men in the superhero community. If my straight geek friends can have characters like Psylocke and Black Canary running around with a piece of string up their ass all the time, why can't Batman or Luke Cage have the same? Hell, I'd be happy with Vision in a thong!


Again I have to thank the Goddesses that we have Gail Simone. She knows what we want to see; more naked Catman! Meow!


Now my dearest Santa, I know these last two Christmas presents are going to be a rather tall order, but I know if anyone can do this, you can.


Could you please, please, please, give us a major event from any comic company that keeps each character actually in character, doesn't intertwine with nearly every book in the company, and actually has a beginning, middle and an end! Ok, and since I'm asking, could you make it as linear as possible for us old queens to actually understand the damn thing to begin with!


Finally, if you could find it in that large, jolly heart of yours; whilst I sleep on Christmas Eve, please sneak into my room and, just like Zatanna in "Identity Crisis", could you erase my memory when it comes to that magnificent story called "Y The Last Man". Allow me the chance to read it again, as if it were the first time, so that all those wonderful emotions can fill my heart a second time as I say goodbye to such beautiful and three dimensional characters. That would be so nice of you.


However, if all of these are too much, or perhaps I haven't been as nice as I thought I was, then I have only one wish for you: Health, Happiness, and Prosperity for my friends at The Outhouse. That would be just as great.


My cookies will be in there usual spot. (wink, wink)




Go here to discuss.


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