Sunday, April 22, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "Still Kardashian free!"

Your Top Marvel Villains part 37

Written by BubbaKanoosh on Thursday, January 22 2009 and posted in Features
1marvelvillainslogo.jpgWell, here we go the Top 50. From here on out I believe you will be truly shocked where some of these characters showed up. Characters who should be high are not, and those who shouldn't be even in the Top 100 got tons of points. So, enough of my rambling I will just get to it. Enjoy, I know I am.


50. J. Jonah Jameson (64 points - 4 first place slots) jjj.jpg

"Good old J.J.J. isn't usually regarded as a bad guy, just a bad personality. But on countless occasions, he has used whatever means necessary to destroy Spider-Man. He has used the front page of the Daily Bugle to demonize Spidey and twist public opinion against him. He has publicly accused Spidey of committing murder, including Captain Stacy and Norman Osborn's suspicious deaths. He has funded various mad scientists to create a number of super-powered assassins to take out Spider-Man. First, there was Scorpion, then a number of mechanized Spider-Slayers, and finally the Fly. Worse yet, he has covered up the fact that his son, John, was a super-powered, bloodthirsty werewolf. His silence allowed his son to go on several violent rampages, terrorizing New York and risking many people's lives. Jonah is a petulant, hateful, bitter, petty, childish man, who treats people like pawns and misuses his wealth to mastermind high-risk schemes. Yet, there is something very endearing about J.J.J. He is, of course, a comedic target, often left humiliated at the end of a great Spidey story. But he is more than that. For all his flaws, he is a loving husband and a faithful friend, and it is this mix between venality and valiance that makes J.J.J. one of the most interesting and complex characters in the Marvel Universe. It also makes him the best villain in Marvel, not to mention one of the greatest villains in all comics."

Wow. Who woulda thunk this? Not I. No way. Anywho, John Jonah Jameson starting his long newspaper career with the Daily Bugle as a cub reporter while still in high school.

When the Daily Bugle came close to financial collapse Jameson used his personal assets and inheritance to purchase the newspaper. Turning the paper's fortunes around, Jameson built a publishing empire expanding into magazine publishing.

Jameson is known for his editorial crusades against masked vigilantes, Spider-Man in particular which he considers more of a menace than a benefit to society.


49. The Rhino (65 points)

"A dumb mook who runs at things with his head in a rhino suit.rhino.jpg Awesome!"

"He is a guy dressed in a Rhino uniform. Out of all the animal villains, this guy is tops. TOPS I SAY"

"My favorite Spidey villain of all time. His simplicity is so awesome. He is a dude dressed as a rhino and rams stuff. Brilliant."

The Rhino was initially Aleksei Sytsevich, a poor immigrant from Russia who was desperate to pay for the rest of his family to come to the United States. With little education and no real skills, the only paying jobs he could get were using his impressive strength and musculature as an enforcer for various criminal organizations. One day he was contacted by some Eastern Bloc agents, who offered him a vast sum of money for participating in an incredible experiment. Sytsevich agreed, and was subjected to intensive chemical and radioactive treatment, which bonded a super-strong polymer to his skin and greatly augmented his strength and speed. He was given the code name "Rhino," and was sent to work as a super-assassin.
Rhino's first job was to capture Colonel John Jameson for his military secrets. Spider-Man defeated the Rhino, leading to the super villain's arrest. After escaping from prison, Rhino has taken on many other jobs over the years, and although he still hates Spider-Man and would love to crush him, he is professional enough not to let personal feelings distract him from a paying job.

Physically, he is one of Spider-Man's strongest foes with his favored attack being ramming into a target with a sustained charge. He is also not very bright, and thus not too difficult for the wall-crawler to beat.

The Rhino has often tangled with the Incredible Hulk as well. He was significantly outmatched by the Hulk in terms of brute force, but the level of superhuman strength he does have, coupled with his invulnerability, has always made him a good adversary.

Recently, as portrayed in the story Flowers for Rhino, he decided to seek help to improve his mind the same way his body had been improved: through science. He sought out a scientist who had an experimental treatment to increase his intelligence. To his surprise the treatment actually worked and he was able to defeat Spider-Man, who had always outsmarted him in the past. Next, he took over the majority of the criminal operations in the city and started a lawsuit against Spider-Man that prevented the hero coming within 500 yards of him. However, his intelligence continued to increase exponentially and, with no intellectual competition, he began to find life boring; he even rewrote "Hamlet" because he found the writing style sloppy, and in his depression pointed out to Spider-Man that he was able to deduce Spider-Man was Peter Parker through a simple equation that could give him the identities of any costumed hero. When he began to approach omniscience he worried that such high intelligence would drive him insane so, although he briefly contemplated suicide, he elected to have the process reversed, actually making himself "a little MORE stupid than he used to be... Just to be on the safe side." Whether this meant that he no longer remembers Spider-Man's identity was unknown, but is now a moot point due to Spider-Man unmasking during the Civil War crossover.

As of now he has been attacked by the Punisher and was left in less than good condition. He, later, showed up for the wake of the dead super villain Stilt-Man, tussling with Armadillo, causing a brawl to break out that was stopped by Spider-Man. The wake was later bombed by the Punisher, who also posed as the bartender and poisoned the villains. Most of the attendees, the Rhino included, survived, and were treated for third-degree burns, in addition to having their stomachs pumped.

Rhino has apparently survived the explosion, though, as he's seen humiliating Deadpool by shrinking him via Pym Particles, gluing his head to a keychain (the same thing Deadpool had done to him during a previous encounter), then made him ride a urinal cake. The Rhino was satisfied by what he had done and the two parted ways... only to have Deadpool turn around and defeat the villain while still small.

Recently, Rhino has been robbing banks with two accomplices, which caught the attention of the Punisher. In their hideout, the punisher kills the accomplice and fired a rocket at Rhino, but Spider-Man saved him. They are both incapacitated with a tranquillizer dart fired by Alyosha Kravinoff and then put them into zoo of animal-themed super humans along with Vulture and Tiger Shark. The Punisher then defeated Kraven and after recalling the time that he killed some innocent people, he let Rhino go. Afterwards, Rhino gave a donation to the widow of his accomplice who was killed by the Punisher because he felt sorry about it.


48. Bastion (66 points)

"If Xavier and Magnebastion.jpgto represent the sides of mutants. Bastion represents humanity side of the coin. Sure he's less than human as well, but as presented in the past and currently in X-Force show's how he can truly become Mutant kind’s greatest enemy."

Bastion came from "Master Mold," an immense Sentinel created by Bolivar Trask. Master Mold was originally destroyed by the X-Men, but Nimrod, an advanced Sentinel from the future, found a single component. Master Mold's programming took over Nimrod's system, combining the two robots. With his new look, Bastion was able to infiltrate the United States government and persuade them to let him take care of the mutant problem. He opened up a clinic called Prospero Clinic, and offered a miracle cure for his patients, but was really turning them into Sentinels called Prime Sentinels.

As part of Operation: Zero Tolerance, Bastion assembled an international paramilitary force to put an end to the mutant threat. He succeeded in capturing a few and in taking over the X-Mansion. The President of the United States had him arrested for his actions, with the help of the X-Men, but he escaped. In the process, the X-Man Dazzler blasted Bastion into a portal. Bastion returned once again, this time aware of his true form, as he took a look similar to that of Nimrod. When he was destroyed by Cable and Machine Man only his head survived. It was later found by Mainspring who deleted both Nimrod and Bastion, giving him a new body and a new name: "Template." It then killed Mainspring and fought Warlock and Wolfs bane. When Ms. Marvel told the X-Men about the location of Template's remains. They send Shadow cat, Wolverine, and Gambit to retrieve their computer files. But when Template shows up, it sends out holograms about false events and information about their teammates. Although they got the files, the X-Men were showing signs of doubt within themselves and their team.

In the aftermath of the Messiah Complex, the Purifiers infiltrated a SHIELD facility with the help of some double agents inside and stole back Bastion's head and reattached it to Nimrod's body. Once online, he alerted the Purifiers on the presence of the X-Force in their church. After their escape, Bastion carried out a plan to finally eliminate the remaining mutant population by recruiting some of the prominent enemies of the X-Men and resurrecting others that have been dead and taking control of them by implanted them with the technorganic virus Magus. After that, he faced a coup 'd etat from Matthew Risman and his Choir, not knowing that X-Force has followed Archangel, who sensed his metallic wings within the Choir. Bastion fought Wolverine, but calculated that the risk is too high to fight him directly, so he escaped with the resurrected X-Men enemies.



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