Monday, June 25, 2018 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not Newsarama!"

Your Top Modern Characters part 44

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, March 24 2009 and posted in Features
Top List
Some interesting characters in this grouping. How can I describe them? Yeah, I am lost.


224. Two characters (16 points)

Battle Pope

Year first appeared: 2005

"When he's not saying Mass, he's out kicking ass!"

This is by no means something Christian. Battle Pope is the title character of a series by Image Comics. This Pope is a slob, sleazy, ill tempered, and a complete user of women. He sleeps with ALL women and that includes the Blessed Mother Mary. He drinks. He swears. He has lots of sex. He considers himself irresistible to women. But he's also damn near invulnerable and fights crime.

Pope is usually seen in a fusion costume of Golden Age superhero and actual papal descendant of God: white spandex bodysuit with a red cross overlay, shiny golden boots, belt and gloves, white cape, miter style hat and the almost constant presence of a cigar in his mouth.

He gets an Attractive Male tick with the understanding that women love Sean Connery and since Pope is a heck of lot more muscular, readers would certainly be attracted to the mature bad boy. He's also getting a check for Insanely Rich because the Catholic Church probably does have more money than God.

The story revolves around the Pope who, by God, condemned for his wrong doings and is sent to save Saint Michael with the help of Jesus H. Christ.



Year first appeared: 1994

XS is the granddaughter of Barry and Iris Allen in the 30th Century, and her mother was Dawn Allen, one of the Tornado Twins. Jenni didn't come into her powers until she was a teenager. She was captured by the Dominators, an alien race with a long-standing interest in meta-humans. Knowing that stress was likely to bring latent superpowers to the fore, they forced Jenni to watch as they tortured her father.

This had the desired effect, and her super-speed kicked in. However, she used it to rescue her father and escape from the Dominators. Once she managed to gain some control of her powers, she was drafted into the Legion of Super-Heroes and became a valued member of that team. XS has a lot of familiarity with time travel, having traveled to the 20th Century several times, where she met her cousin, Bart Allen. With the Legion's dissolution after the loss of half their team, XS joined Star Boy and Dreamer on the planet Xanthu, where they succeeded in rescuing countless people from the Robotican invasion.


223. Pitt (16 points)

pitt.jpgYear first appeared: 1993

You know, I remember when this came out and I waited month and months and months for this next ish and it never came. Stupid stupid stupid. So annoying. Anywho. In 1981, Allen and Annie Bracken, while on their way from the hospital, were taken by a Creed spaceship where their emperor Zoyvod took one of the fertilized eggs from Annie and returned them to Earth. While the Brackens were on Earth with what would become Pitt's brother Timmy, Zoyvod combined his genetic structure with the fertilized egg that would become Pitt.

In the Creed Imperial stronghold the egg grew in a gestation tank, until the creature unexpectedly awoke and escaped. He was ultimately caught and Wroth, another Creed hybrid (and half-brother to Pitt), assaulted him. Believing him dead, a Creed alien named Quagg was supposed to get rid of the body, but was attacked by Pitt while flying to the corpse dumping grounds. In the fight, Pitt was blasted out through the door of the shuttle.

On the ground Pitt clawed his way out of the dumping ground and lived in the wilds until Zoyvod sent a team out to retrieve him. Quagg and his team did manage to retrieve him, but only Quagg survived the mission. Pitt was then trained by Quagg and given his name. For years he worked as Zoyvod's assassin until an attack on the planet Chakra where someone named the Seer melded the consciousness of the child Jereb - an alien with 'immense spiritual power" - with Pitt. The merger apparently changed Pitt, turning him into a fugitive. Eventually he ended up on Earth.

When Pitt arrived on Earth, he materialized in a New York subway near Timmy and saved him and his grandfather from muggers. Immediately after, he disappeared into the city, drifting around while trying to adapt to the new world. On Earth he was followed by the Creed. Timmy, having a genetic structure similar to Pitt, was attacked instead of Pitt, bringing Timmy and Pitt together again. This was also the first time Rai-Kee met Pitt, who had been masquerading as "Bobbie Harras" a New York City Police Officer. During the fight, Jereb left Pitt and entered Timmy, enabling him to defeat Zoyvod.

After the fight Timmy was kidnapped by the Creed. To affect his rescue, Pitt teamed up with Axiom - a New York-based superhero group. Pitt's half brother Wroth was working with Professor Holdsworth, the leader of Axiom. Holdsworth wanted the power in Timmy, and Wroth wanted Pitt. Their plan was foiled, however. Holdsworth's fate was not revealed but Wroth escaped. He returned later and was defeated by Zoyvod who had taken over Pitt's body for a short while.

Due to the war between the Creed and the Cenobite, Pitt would have been attacked by the Cenobite, had they found him on Earth. The Cenobite Eurial therefore hid him in an alternate dimension known as Shimmerspace until they were gone. There, Pitt met Jereb again. While in Shimmerspace, Jereb could see all time at once: past, present, and future. He told Pitt some of the things that would happen to him. Pitt was only in Shimmerspace very shortly but when he came out, five years had passed on Earth.

While Pitt had been in Shimmerspace, an organization bent on world domination known as the ThinkTank had created Pitt clones - one of which was sent to steal some alien artifacts from a military installation. For this, the U.S. Army sent both troops and their best officer Captain Curtis to kill Pitt. They only succeeded in killing Captain Curtis and US soldiers, and Pitt went to the White House where he killed Clinton's double on the lawn. Pitt somehow found out about the ThinkTank being behind it all and went to the Crossbow Technologies building where he killed their leaders, the Guileys.



222. The Black Glove (16 points)

Year first appeared: 2008

Heh. I can hear the groans now. And the cheers from the Kool-Aid drinkers Grant-ites.

An organization with great reach and power, which is also very secretive, dedicated to ruining and eventually ending Batman’s life. They were last seen storming Batman’s house and causing him to have a seizure. Afterwards they drugged Dick Grayson and locked him up in Arkham then left Batman wandering helplessly on the street drugged with heroin. Afterwards they proclaimed Wayne Manor as their new base of operations and Arkham as well. They declared war on the Outsiders coding something into Remac causing him to explode, killing him.




Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!