Tuesday, January 23, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "Exclusive! Exclusive! Hggulghhlgghhlghhlghh!"

Your Top Modern Characters part 61

Written by Chris Mitchell on Monday, March 30 2009 and posted in Features
Top List
A couple of X-Folks and a really, really, really bad man.



shatterstar.jpg165. Shatterstar (24 points)

Year first appeared: 1991

I am not going to say anything, I am just gonna leave it up to you.

The origins of Gaveedra Seven are in question; what is commonly believed is that he is the offspring of the artificial human known as Longshot and the mutant Alison Blaire aka Dazzler. Born in the extra-dimensional universe known as the Mojoverse he like many vertebrates served as a gladiator for the entertainment of that universe's invertebrate rulers - going by the name Shatterstar. Joining a band of rebels, Seven traveled to the Earth of the past in an effort to recruit the assistance of the X-Men. When he teleported into the Danger Room of the Xavier Institute, instead of finding the X-Men he found their apparent heirs the New Mutants. Shortly after joining the mutant hero team they changed their name to X-Force.

Eventually Seven would have the opportunity to challenge his former master Mojo, but would end up near death and in need of rescue. It was revealed that Seven's fate was tied to a man named Benjamin Russell - his counterpart from an alternate reality. Before death his essence was transferred into the comatose body of Russell and he was resurrected as Shatterstar.

Shatterstar has the mutant ability to convert sonic frequencies in shockwaves of vibrating energy. These same energies can be focused through the weapon of his choosing, as long as they are metal, to release staggering bolts of energy. Since Shatterstar was a product of genetic engineering his body performs at peak levels at all times. His genetics allow him increased abilities well above the finest athlete’s skills, including: Acute senses, speed, stamina, agility, flexibility, dexterity, reflexes, coordination, balance and endurance. The combination of all these heightened abilities allow Shatterstar to produce movements that even the greatest trained individuals would have a hard time duplicating. Additionally, his bones are hollow allowing for cleaner movement and he can also shift his internal organs to lessen chances of serious wounds.


164. Cecilia Reyes (24 points)

Year first appeared: 1997

Cecilia was "outed" as a mutant during Zero Tolerance by a OZT Prime Sentinel that posed as an injured patient. After Operation: Zero Tolerance, Cecilia was fired from her job. She joined the X-Men formally and was a member for some time before leaving to start her own medical practice.

Her solitude was short-lived as she became embroiled in the X-Men's battle with the Neo. She killed Hunter, the leader of the Neo, and to avoid capture took the mutant power-enhancing drug called "Rave" to augment her abilities. She overcame her drug addiction with the help of Professor Charles Xavier.

She was later captured by Weapon X and acted as a doctor in the Neverland mutant concentration camp. Her current whereabouts and status as a result of M-Day are not known. Recently, Cecilia has shown up in NYX. She's working as a doctor in Chinatown. Kiden Nyxon and Bobby Soul take Tatiana to see her after they escape from the hospital. Cecilia has a life force generated force field. It can protect her from danger, but she does feel the impact of blows. During her training with the X-Men, Cecilia has been able to shape the field to provide her with basic melee weapons.


163. Herr Starr (24 points)

Year first appeared: 1996 herrstar.jpg

"A really bad guy who always got the short end of the stick. If there was proof in that book that there was a God, Starr was it."

Herr Starr is a former German special forces soldier and a member of The Grail. He starred in his own one-shot, Preacher: One Man's War. During his school years, a group of bullies target him because he is the son of a British serviceman. This eventually leads to an attack where they give "A star for Starr" by using a broken bottle to carve five jagged lines around his right eye. He loses the sight in that eye, and the stress of the event causes his hair to fall out and his voice to become harsh and grating due to his screams during the incident. He eventually becomes dedicated to creating order in the world, starting by killing his attackers. All five die before Starr turns ten. He later joins the German anti-terrorism unit GSG 9, and excels in everything and showing initiative crucial to his future employment when he defeats his close-combat tutor (a sadist who enjoys beating up new recruits) by shooting him in the kneecaps. As a result, he is not as skilled at unarmed combat as other Grail operatives, although his explanation for this is that he has "no intention of being unarmed".

The Grail recruits Starr and quickly rises in the ranks, eventually becoming Sacred Executioner, second only to the Grail's leader. He eventually decides that Grail's motives are idiotic due to planning everything around the deformed and inbred Messiah. When he hears of Jesse Custer and his power of "the Word", Starr decides that Custer is the perfect candidate for an alternative Messiah and plans to use Custer in his scheme to overthrow the Grail's leadership. He eventually murders his way to the position of Allfather. He comes to regret his actions because of various injuries so he kills the rest of Grail Council.

As the story progresses he slowly descends deeper into rage and insanity (even shooting a report by agent Hoover due to incorrect use of grammar and quotation marks) and he amasses a personal army to kill Custer, whom he views as the cause of all his ills. He is killed by Tulip during the battle between Cassidy and Custer.

Throughout the course of the series, Starr obtains various humiliating injuries (which also serve a comedic purpose). He is raped by a large male prostitute. He has his ear shot off by Tulip, and Jesse cuts a gash across Starr's head, making it resemble a penis (he spends the rest of the series hiding the scar with a Panama hat). He is captured by three inbred hillbillies who eat his right leg. He manages to kill them. After he kills a Grail member close to figuring out his plot, the man's Rottweiler chews off his genitalia. Throughout all these injuries, his only comment after they have occurred is "Shit." During his final confrontation, he has a bullet shot through his chin that blows the top of his head off, uttering a final, disgusted "Shit" before collapsing dead.




Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!