Sunday, May 20, 2018 • Morning Edition • "This is not rocket science, people. Get a grip."

Your Top Modern Characters part 62

Written by Chris Mitchell on Monday, March 30 2009 and posted in Features
Top List
Two Vertigos and an Ultimate.



162. Hob Gadling (24 points)

Year first appeared: 1990

An English man born in the 14th century. Dream encountered him while visiting the waking world with his older sister, Death. Gadling was proposing to his friends that people only die because everyone else does it, and that he'd have no part of it. Dream believed that this might be an interesting experiment, and so Dream tells Gadling that, if he truly believes the way to live forever is simply not to die, Dream will meet him in one hundred years in the same tavern for a drink. Gadling agrees and in one hundred years they meet. At first when Dream shows up Gadling believes that he has made some kind of deal with the Devil. Dream convinces him otherwise, and they meet every one hundred years for a drink. During their meeting in the 1800's, Gadling accuses Dream of being lonely and wanting friends, and that was why Death never came for Gadling. Dream is outraged that Gadling would suggest that "one of my kind" needs friends, and storms out of the tavern. One century later, Gadling is waiting for Dream in the bar. When Dream finally turns up, Gadling admits that he didn't expect him to show. Dream replies, "I was always told it is bad manners to keep one's friends waiting." After the first Dream dies, Death comes to Gadling at a renaissance fair, and tells him that it was not just a dream. Then she asks him if he is ready to go; if he is finally ready to die. Gadling replies that he is not ready; he's still got so much to live for, and besides his girlfriend would kill him. After his meeting with Death, Gadling has a dream where he meets Morpheus on a beach, and they greet each other warmly. Then a street painter whom Gadling once met, really Destruction, comes up, and the three of them walk off down the beach.


cinderella.jpg161. Cinderella (24 points)

Year first appeared: 2002

Prince Charming's third wife, Cinderella is often seen as loud and rambunctious by her fellow Fables, and usually goes simply by the name Cindy. She is the owner and manager of her own shoe store, the Glass Slipper, in Fabletown. This, however, is merely a cover: she secretly works for the Sheriff (first Bigby and then later Beast) as one of his off-the-record spies. She considers herself to be good at her job, as well as being a fairly decent assassin. Her typical missions include finding Fables who may still be loyal to the Adversary, and she tends to use her good looks to do it. Her first real mission shown in the series was an example of this, and happened during March of the Wooden Soldiers where Bigby had her trapping Ichabod Crane (in France) into admitting that he would follow the Adversary if she were to ask him to; she even got him to sign a confession to that effect, as well as a detailed inventory (written by Crane) of all the magical artifacts Fabletown had. However, an earlier mission of hers may have been seen before this: in issue #2 (20 issues before it is revealed that she is a secret agent) she is seen fencing with Bluebeard while discussing the murder of Rose Red. Given Bluebeard was a suspect, it is logical that Cinderella was acting under Bigby's orders to gather information and determine Bluebeard's involvement. After the Battle for Fabletown, she participated in the interrogation of the captured wooden soldiers. She then acted as a delegate to the Cloud Kingdom, where she began to forge an alliance with the Giants on behalf of Fabletown. This allowed her to act as Bigby Wolf's mission operator during Operation Israel. Cinderella ran into a problem while trying to get the Cloud Giants High King to sign a treaty with Fabletown.

To solve this, she enlisted the aid of the resident medic of Smalltown, and was turned into a mouse using one of Frau Totenkinder's potions. The price she has to pay for this potion has yet to be revealed, but Cindy certainly feels that it will come back to haunt her. Recently, it has been revealed that she has been interrogating Baba Yaga; considering the fact that only Bigby and Frau Totenkinder know about Baba Yaga being a captive of Fabletown, it is reasonable to assume that this may be part of the debt she owes the witch. Cinderella apparently slipped up and revealed to Baba Yaga that Fabletown had the Witching Well, which prompted Baba Yaga to reveal that she has been learning more from Cinderella during these interrogations than Cindy has been from her. However, this may all be part of Cindy's greater plan.


160. Ult. Hawkeye (24 points - 1 first place slot)

ultimatehawkeye.jpgYear first appeared: 2002

I dunno if the first place slot is a shot at me, or he actually deserves it. But anywho, people come up to me and say, "Bubs, you should read Ultimates. It has a Hawkeye in there you will actually like". I am like "really?” And they are like "Fuck yeah, this Hawkeye did some badass shit in a kitchen". And I say "Like cook one mean quiche?". And then they say, "Shut the fuck up and just read the book". And then they roll their eyes.

Ultimate Hawkeye is a member of the Ultimate version of the Avengers, the Ultimates, where he was introduced as the partner of the Ultimate version of the Black Widow. His family is later killed by enemies (The Liberators) of the Ultimates. This version of Hawkeye can turn any object into a precisely aimed deadly projectile (including his own fingernails). Ultimate Hawkeye has been artificially augmented. Unlike his counterpart, he frequently uses guns and deadly force.

Then I hear Loeb turned him into uber suck again. I saw his outfit, what the hell is that? It’s like a cross between Bullseye and lame. I really hate Loeb. Shit, now I am thinking how much Loeb sucks and it’s getting me angry. You know what will cheer me up? You buying War of Kings.



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