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Bumps, Pops, and Katie Vick 6/9/09 - They Future Endeavored WHO?!

on Tuesday, June 09 2009 and posted in Features
God damn you WWE.....


So....on the forums the other day, I gave the option of voting for the topic of my next column. The near unanimous winner was "the Losers that WWE needs to get rid of". So I'm getting ready to write this, and I got a wee bit lazy, putting it off until tonight (Monday). Thankfully I did. It gave me much more reason to write about the topic at hand. Not only was Ken Kennedy released two weeks ago for reasons which have yet to be completely revealed, but assumed to be his "stiffness" in the ring, but just today, Umaga was released from his contract as well. Given that it just happened, there has been no reason whatsoever revealed, nor any major guesses as to why. And to think, just last week in this column I wrote about how they could PUSH Umaga. Not fire him. Maybe I should write about how they should push Rey Mysterio even further next....see what happens there. Hey, I can dream.


Why is it that WWE seems to be releasing guys who are upper-mid card wrestlers as opposed to just trimming the undercard? The guys who don't EVER show up on television, and rarely work house shows either. They're really just a waste of space and money on the payroll. About 80% of them will never make it further than where they are now, and even their most hardcore fans are generally aware of this. So let's take a gander at who WWE should actually be cutting.


Jesse - Seriously, are they going to be able to find anything worthwhile for this guy to do without Festus? Even WITH Festus, they were lucky to get on television once a month. Without him, I don't believe he's appeared on WWE television since the Draft back in April. I could be mistaken, or missed something, but I haven't seen him being used on house shows either.


"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - At LEAST release him from his contract as an active superstar. Make him a trainer, an ambassador for WWE (which I think he already is), or give him some backstage job. He should no longer be on the active roster. I honestly cannot remember the last time I saw him on television whatsoever. Did they even use him in the Jericho vs. Legends at ‘Mania build-up? They may have, but I sure as shit don't remember. I respect the hell out of the guy, but he needs to be off the roster.


Alicia Fox - She cant wrestle. She doesn't seem as if she'd be able to work the mic. She can dance though, which apparently validates her job. Cut her.


1244137573984.jpgCurt Hawkins - Hasn't done shit since him and Zack Ryder were separated during the draft in April. And they as a tag team hadn't done anything AT ALL for months prior to that. With Zack Ryder WOOWOOWOOing his way to the top on ECW, it's clear who the weak link in the team was. Cut.


The Great Khali - This guy has absolutely run his course in a WWE ring. He played the absolute epitome of monster heel for a good few years, and had a World Heavyweight Championship run. However, there is nothing left to do with him. They made him a face, which is just ridiculous, because now they have to limit who he can go after. Can't have him go after the top heels, because that just wouldn't work. The monster character only works as a heel, because it can make the face look strong by not being afraid, and having the courage to stand up to the monster. A heel....well, a heel is supposed to be a coward, and isn't supposed to be able to overcome the odds (unless they're another monster character). GTFO Khali.


Ezekiel Jackson - Who? Wasn't this douche The Brian Kendrick's bodyguard on Smackdown for awhile before TBK got drafted to Raw? I would guarantee nearly every casual fan wouldn't even recognize this guy. Yet they fire Umaga. WWE Logic. Gotta love it.


Relatively short article this week guys, as I have many other things going on, all seemingly at once. Took me even longer than I thought to write up this one. Next week, I'll be pulling out a random old VHS tape of some wrestling show, be it a Pay-Per-View, a Monday Night Raw, a Smackdown, or even an old taping of WCW Nitro. Oh, the excitement!


So until then, grab me a 12-Pack of Mountain Dew, a cooler, and a whole buncha lobster, and meet me at the beach! Now come along....SANDY!


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