Saturday, May 26, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "We're the god damn Outhousers."

Your Top Teams part 9

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, June 16 2009 and posted in Features
A few recent teams, an old school team, and a indie team. I only like 1 of the 4.




183. The Illuminati (9 points)

I am really not a fan of this team, and I am kinda glad most of you are not either. Well, you could be but just didn't vote for them, which I also accept (but not as much as hating them like I do). Why do I dislike them so? This team sole purpose for creation was for Bendis to retcon shit he didn't like. The most notable one was with Secret Wars, with changing what the Beyonder was. So yeah, laaaaaaame.

The Illuminati is a secret organization that guides events in the Marvel Universe, led by some of the most influential and important people in said Universe.

Iron Man, Namor, Mr. Fantastic, Professor X, Black Bolt, and Doctor Strange formed the Illuminati after the Kree-Skrull War. After the Kree-Skrull War, Iron Man realized that if the six had worked together, they could have each used their own respective information and stopped it. Along with Black Panther, he proposed a government of super humans.

They have the Infinity Gems, you know that? It is revealed what the Illuminati were up to between their formation and the team's disbanding. Mr. Fantastic had managed to get the Infinity Gauntlet and a few of the Infinity Gems. He found the rest and proposed to keep it safe so villains like Thanos could never possess it again. Though the Gauntlet tempts Reed, he disperses the Gems among the Illuminati for safekeeping, although he had omnipotence when he put the Gauntlet on. Mr. Fantastic holds onto the Power Gem, Professor X the Mind Gem, Doctor Strange the Soul Gem, Namor the Time Gem, Iron Man the Reality Gem, and Black Bolt the Space Gem, with each of them swearing never to use the gems.

After the Secret Wars, it was brought to the attention through the psychic abilities of Professor Xavier, that the cosmic force known as the Beyonder was actually the result of a mutant/inhuman receiving treatments from the Terrigan Mist. The Illuminati (minus Tony Stark, whose role as Iron Man was presently being filled by Jim Rhodes) decide to confront the Beyonder, but they were struck by his powers and were able to live their greatest fantasies. Despite the Beyonder offering such 'gifts' as allowing Black Bolt the ability to speak normally, they are able to overcome their desires and ask the Beyonder to leave. They convince the Beyonder to quit tampering with Earth when Namor speaks on Black Bolt's behalf as the King of the Inhumans.

The Illuminati was also responsible for launching Hulk far out into space, which gave him desire for vengeance lead to the World War Hulk event. When Iron Man introduced the Superhuman Registration Act to the group (which triggered Civil War, only Mr. Fantastic agreed with him. They all took their own positions on the event. Namor originally had no position and didn't care, but eventually sided with Captain America. He sent an Atlantean war party to help him at the end. Doctor Strange avoided the conflict. He spent the time fasting in the Arctic and praying that whichever side won would cause less pain and death.

Professor X was busy with House of M at the time, but when he returned, took a neutral stance with the rest of the X-Men. Black Bolt vehemently disagreed and announced cold war between the US and the Inhumans. The Civil War disbanded the Illuminati, each member going their own separate way.


182. The Boys (9 points)

Originally a Wildstorm title, this series was dumped and picked up by Dynamite Entertainment.

It's an adult series with gory violence and sexual content. If you are curious and don't know if you'd like it -- if you like Quentin Tarantino movies, you'd like The Boys. "The Godfather" scene where a horse's head turns up in the bed is nothing compared to an illustration of a face sliced off and delivered in a pizza box and then chewed by the dog.

"The Boys" refers to a team of 4 men and 1 woman who are tasked with not only keeping tabs on the super humans of the world, but also killing them if required. It's a multicultural task force, which is backed by the CIA.

A virus has been injected into 150 people with super powers. Unexpectedly, their heads explode. The vaccination was intended to be a control device, an internal bomb that the government could detonate at will if the Supers got out of line. Instead, the biological contaminant has become unstable and exploded headless super bodies are cropping up around the world.

Intrigue ensues when it's revealed that The Boys are also a target of Little Nina who has been dealing with a top American powerbroker. Little Nina has nothing short of an army of super villains at her command too.


181. Psionex/The Original Mighty Avengers (9 points)

New Warriors!! Woooohoooooooo!!!!

psionex.jpgA team of unstable superhuman misfits, Psionex was formed by Genetech, a bioengineering firm specializing in superhuman genetics research. Genetech's founder, Harmon Furmintz, regarded super-beings with both fascination and envy. A 1930s child prodigy, he was recruited in 1940 as a prospective test subject for the super-soldier serum research that later produced Captain America, but Harmon was dropped from the program due to his hemophilia. A collaborator of Howard Stark (later Iron Man's father) and a teacher of Reed Richards (later the Fantastic Four's founder) in subsequent decades, Furmintz came to feel that humanity was advancing all around him while he remained stagnant. Using funding grants from Daryl Taylor's Taylor Foundation, Furmintz founded Genetech to develop a new race of super humans.

When a Genetech project accidentally resurrected the cosmic menace Terrax, he was defeated by a young superhero team, the New Warriors (whose leader, Night Thrasher, was secretly Dwayne Taylor, the late Daryl's son and heir). Genetech hired the Mad Thinker to research the Warriors, then used the Thinker's date to experiment on five volunteer test subjects, chosen on the basis of their morphological differences and varied socioeconomic backgrounds. All five had their brains enhanced through biochemical, biomechanical or surgical means, becoming superhuman though their mental health deteriorated. Genetech administrator Walter Rosen was uneasy about the project, but CEO Furmintz rationalized the imperfect result as a necessary transitional phase.

Collectively dubbed Psionex, the five test subjects included Asylum, a former mental patient whose dark, mist-like body (apparently held together by a special mask) induced traumatic visions of "inner truths" or "inner lies"; Coronary, a transparent-bodied former medical student who psionically manipulated others' biometabolic processes; Impulse, a violent street gang member armed with neurotoxin-coated wrist blades and superhuman reflexes; Mathemanic, a genius-level M.I.T. student turned "math telepath" able to alter reality (or perceptions of same) by manipulating numerical values such as distance, time or force; and Pretty Persuasions, and exotic dancer who could stimulate the pleasure centers of others and transform her own erotic impulses into painful-yet-pleasurable energy weapons.

When the Warriors broke into Genetech trying to find out why the Thinker was hired to spy on them, Psionex captured them; the Warriors soon escaped, defeating Psionex and smashing Coronary to bits and chastened Rosen admitted the project had gone somewhat astray. As Genetech's experiments continued, Psionex's powers increased – for instance, Asylum could now generate Darkforce blasts, and a freakishly reassembled Coronary could now reshape his form and alter his density – but their mental stability declined, and they rebelled against their employers. When the Warriors struggled to subdue Psionex, a disillusioned Furmintz decided to take control by becoming a super-being himself; trying to gain the powers of Terrax, he was instead assimilated as the villain's new host body. Most of Psionex fled, but Mathemanic was seriously injured and Impulse was crippled; adding insult to injury, Impulse was arrested for his past crimes.

Psionex split up thereafter: a rampaging Asylum was stopped by the Warriors when Speedball dispersed her mist form; Coronary returned to Genetech seeking treatment for his increasingly monstrous and painful physical condition; a wheelchair-bound Impulse was paroled and tried to stay out of trouble; Mathemanic returned to his M.I.T. studies; and Pretty Persuasions worked in a strip joint. None of them were content in their new lives, so when the unstable Darkforce-wielding mutant Henrique Gallante adopted the mask and alias of Asylum, they reformed Psionex under his leadership (Impulse had healed by then, and his sister Chantal's death in a gang shootout convinced him to come out of retirement). The team became crime-fighting vigilantes and popular celebrities despite the Warriors' disapproval, but their crusade ended after Asylum accidentally killed and innocent child. The Warriors convinced Gallante to turn himself in. A quilt-stricken Mathemanic tried to undo the child's death using his powers, but was ultimately forced to restore reality as it was.

During a period when they were estranged from the Warriors, Night Thrasher and Rage joined a reassembled Psionex (the founders minus Asylum) as the team's new mentors, but they soon gave up on the project and returned to the Warriors. Psionex has mostly kept a low profile since then, but they were recently among the many super-criminals captured and pressed into service by Baron Zemo's Thunderbolts.



mightyavengers1.jpgThe Mighty Avengers were created as the New York branch of the 50-state Initiative, though this team unlike the other Initiative teams serves all of the nation and the world, not just their respective state.

During a battle against the Mole Man, Iron Man's armor went haywire and turned him into a woman. Mentally and physically. That women he was turned into was none other than Ultron.

Thinking Tony was dead, the Mighty Avengers battled Ultron. During the battle Ultron, using her internal computer systems, activated a satellite that could control the weather. Creating natural disasters all around the world. The Mighty Avengers had to resort to getting the help of Hank Pym, Ultron's creator.

Ultron then killed Sentry's wife. Which enraged Sentry deeply. During their battle the rest of the Mighty Avengers battled an armada of Iron Man armor’s, which were under the control of Ultron. In the meanwhile Hank began creating something to stop Ultron. Sentry was about to kill Ultron when Ms. Marvel stopped him, knowing if he killed Ultron, then there would be no hopes of getting Tony back.

A microscopic Ares was then released into Ultron to release a virus that would hopefully kill Ultron and bring Tony Stark back. He succeeded barely and Ultron was seemingly killed, returning Tony to his rightful body and mind.

As Tony rests, Spider-Woman appears at his side, holding the dead body of the Skrull Elektra. They discuss for a while about what this means, and Tony asks her to join the Mighty Avengers so that she can find the Skrull in the team. She does so, but as he introduces her onto the team (some members less happy about it than others) a symbiote bomb is dropped on New York.

The team goes to help, and team up with Luke Cage. When Wasp grows in size, she, Black Widow and Spider-Woman are taken over by symbiotes. In the end, Iron Man discovers a cure for the symbiote virus and releases it on New York.

They discover that the bomb was released in Latveria, and they all attack Dr. Doom's castle. But when Iron Man and Doom fight, they activate Doom's time machine, and as Sentry goes in to save Iron Man, the three are teleported to the past

Spider-Woman has been discovered as the Skrull queen. Devastating Iron Man completely. Especially after he got sick with the armor virus. While Ms. Marvel has returned to New York City to fight off the Invasion. The rest of the Avengers soon arrive in New York. To fight the Skrull queen and her armada. In the end Janet aka Wasp dies by the hammer of Thor. For she was literally killing human and Skrull alike. Thor stated that he would avenge her death. The Skrull queen begins to walk with her broken jaw and Wolverine attempts to kill her but Norman manages to get the kill shot. Iron Man and Thor discover a spaceship holding prisoners. Inside the real Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) is found. As well as Jarvis and Elektra. Jessica Drew seems surprised to see everyone staring at her like a hawk. (Elvis is in the background amazed by the new world). Ms. Marvel hugs Jessica in relief that the "Secret Invasion" is finally over.

Jessica Jones aka Jewel sees the real Jarvis come out of the spaceship and begins to yell. For in "Secret Invasion" #7 she left the baby with Skrull Jarvis. She begins to fly back to Avengers Tower followed by Ms. Marvel and Luke Cage. Only to discover that her baby girl Danielle Cage is nowhere to be found. Tony is then fired from S.H.I.E.L.D and Norman takes his spot. Now naming it H.A.M.M.E.R. Norman now controls the Mighty Avengers the team disbands and a new one gets formed by Pym, and that lineup which is far better then this one does not get voted at all.


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