Monday, June 25, 2018 • Evening Edition • "We're the god damn Outhousers."

Yout Top Teams part 16

Written by Chris Mitchell on Friday, June 19 2009 and posted in Features
I think this is the anti-Twigglet post. {nomultithumb}




162. Eternals (14 points) eternals.jpg

"Formidable team of Immortal Earth Gods in cool Kirby costumes. Makkari is a 50 ton class Flash caliber speedster!"

The Eternals first came into being about a million years ago when the extraterrestrial Celestials arrived on Earth to perform genetic experiments on the nascent human race. To test the adaptability of the human gene, the Celestials accelerated the evolution of a handful of subjects and gave them the genetic potential to mentally manipulate limited quantities of cosmic energy, as well as other superhuman traits. Thus the Celestials created the race of Eternals. The Celestials also performed experiments on Earth that led to the creation of the Deviants, and to the implantation of latent genetic material in other specimens of humanity's ancestors that would one day permit benevolent mutations in human beings.

Eternals are long lived possibly eternal but not immortal. They can be killed if their molecules are dispersed. The eternals are not many caused to their low birth rate. If they do mate with humans the baby will always be human. Eternals have sworn to protect humans from their cousins the Deviants. Eternals also have higher technology than the human race.

Eternals faced a civil war over if they should conquer other races. One side was lead by Kronos who said they shouldn’t while the other was lead by Uranos who said they should. Kronos’ side won and Uranus left Earth and travelled to Uranus where he and the rest built a civilization. Uranus tried again to start a war but they were attacked by a Kree ship and landed on Saturn. The Kree captured some of the eternals and did experiments on them. This lead the Kree to go to Earth and try to make humans into Eternals. This failed offshoot was the Inhumans. Still having power but not on the Eternals level.

Kronos started experimenting in cosmic energy until it went wrong and a surge went through the Eternals city. This activated the Eternals latent genes and they found out they could manipulate cosmic energy. This gave them god-like abilities.

The Eternals end up on Earth with no memory of who they are. Sprite an eternal forever to look eleven was tired of people treating him like a child. So he erased the Eternals memory and changed their perception of history. Ikaris remembers and tells the rest of the Eternals who battle the Deviants who wake up a sleeping Celestial.


161. X-Statix (14 points)
In 2001, the X-Men family of titles were being revamped by the newly appointed Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada, with the aim to make the titles more critically and commercially successful. Former Vertigo editor Axel Alonso hired writer Peter Milligan, best known for his surreal, post-modernist comics such as Rogan Gosh and Shade, the Changing Man, and Madman artist Mike Allred, as the new creative team for X-Force, starting with issue #116. X-Force prior to Milligan and Allred's first issue sold well but rarely had been the critical success Quesada wanted.

From their first issue of X-Force things were changed right away; gone was the previous team and replacing them were characters more like pop stars or reality TV contestants than traditional superheroes. The title was laced with Milligan's satirical take on the superhero team as well as general cynicism toward the entire genre. Milligan and Allred would regularly play with killing off the title characters: In their first issue, they wiped out the entire team with only two exceptions.

This dramatic revision of the series was not universally accepted. Many readers wanted "their" X-Force back, a complaint Milligan later parodied in the pages of the title. However, sales had increased and the title was receiving mainstream media coverage in the likes of Rolling Stone magazine.

X-Force was canceled with issue 129 in 2002 and re-named X-Statix; it restarted with a new issue #1. X-Statix carried on the same themes as X-Force, but with an increasingly satirical tone. Milligan planned to deploy Princess Diana as a character in a story-arc beginning in X-Statix #13: she was slated to return from the dead as a mutant superhero. However, when news of this leaked out to the media, a series of objections followed, most notably from the British tabloid newspaper The Daily Mail. Quesada and Marvel announced that they would alter the character, replacing her with a fictional pop star named Henrietta Hunter.

Although sales of the title during this time were moderate, they soon began to decline drastically. After a story-arc that pitted X-Statix against The Avengers, low sales prompted the title's cancellation with issue #26, published in 2004. In the last issue Milligan and Allred killed off the entire team, serving up one last parody of the superhero genre, while tying up the remaining plot threads.

Marvel Comics published X-Statix Presents: Dead Girl in 2006. In the 5 issue mini-series, Dead Girl teams with Doctor Strange to combat a group of villains who have returned from the dead. The series is written by Milligan, with covers by Allred. The storyline (which features the return of The Anarchist, The Orphan, and U-Go-Girl) parodies the manner in which creators in the industry handle death in comic books, with popular characters often brought back from the dead.


160. The Cabal (14 points)

"Such a collections of badasses." cabal.jpg

You know, this team has kinda grown on me. I so hated them and how they were formed at the end of Secret Invasion, it was so lame how all that came bout. But, as the story unfolded, this "collection of badasses" as a voter so put it has made for some good reading. What am I enjoying bout them? Well, the whole backstabbing element of it all. We have Namor and Emma and there history, we have Loki and Doom, we have Doom and Namor, all of whom are working together behind Osborn’s back. And then each of them having there own agenda like Loki and her Mighty Avengers and Doom resurrecting Attuma to most likely use against Namor when the time comes. So yeah, from what turned out to be just your typical crappy Bendis idea turned into something I actually enjoy, which I am somewhat shocked at.

From the ashes of Secret Invasion this team was made. Running the superhuman society in their favor. Composed of the villainous superhumans in the Marvel Universe, they are the Dark Illuminati. Their intentions are very clear: Rule the world even if every member has their own intentions, such has Dr. Doom wanting the "land" and Namor wanting the "sea". Whether or not the other members are sure like Emma Frost and Loki is not yet known. As for Norman Osborn, aka Green Goblin, it seems that he knows a betrayal might occur. So, as an insurance policy, he has an as yet unrevealed "special friend" who he intends to help him keep the others in line. This mysterious friend of Osborn's was enough to silence Doctor Doom after he questioned Osborn's audacity to even invite them, and after the Hood asked what would stop them from turning on him later.

So, who is the special friend? Everyone thinks its Sentry, which would be the logical choice. But this is Bendis we are talking about so I am betting on........Beyonder.


159. The GLA or GLI or whatever you wish to call them (14 points)

"A fun book with clean art, this mini acknowledged the previous material and took it further. The biggest accomplishment is bringing in then obscure character Squirrel Girl and making her popular."

A fun team, but seriously, I hate Squirrel Girl and everything she stands for.


The team has changed their name on several occasions. The Avenger Hawkeye, always the party pooper, first protests over their illegal use of the name "Avengers", and eventually the Great Lakes Avengers are issued with a "cease and desist" order from the Maria Stark Foundation (despite being allowed to use an Avengers computer with limited access). The team then call themselves the Lightning Rods, named after fellow superhero team the Thunderbolts. While working for the organization S.H.I.E.L.D. Mister Immortal then suggests the title S.W.O.R.D. , although the name is changed to Great Lakes X-Men when the members realize that they are in fact all mutants.

After team member Flatman wins a poker tournament and beats many other superheroes, the team call themselves the Great Lakes Champions. Following the events of the Civil War, the team now operates as the Great Lakes Initiative in the state of Wisconsin

Craig Hollis discovers he is immortal and decides to fight crime as Mr. Immortal, but after being shot in the head by a group of thieves realizes that operating alone may not be suitable. After placing an advertisement for costumed adventurers in the local paper, Mr. Immortal then recruits and assembles the Great Lakes Avengers, with roster including Dinah Soar; Big Bertha; Flatman and Doorman. Mr. Immortal does, however, refuse one candidate - Gene Lorrene - a leather fetishist called "Leather Boy." Despite being advised that he has no superpowers and is therefore ineligible, Lorrene takes the rebuttal personally.

The team is first seen in public by the Avenger’s Hawkeye and Mockingbird, who watch the group stop a robbery. Despite Hawkeye's annoyance at the fact that the team have a naive insistence on trying to be superheroes, and have used the name Avengers without consultation, he and Mockingbird act as the team's mentors. The Great Lakes Avengers assist the Avengers and Avengers West Coast from time to time, against threats such as the entity Terminus. After an encounter with the team the Thunderbolts — and aiding them against the villain Graviton — the Great Lakes Avengers clash with the mercenary Deadpool.

After a period of inactivity, the team learns that the Avengers have been disbanded and Hawkeye has apparently been killed. The team then reemerges and battles the entity Maelstrom, who is building a doomsday device and subsequently kills Dinah Soar. New members Squirrel Girl (who has a pet squirrel Monkey Joe) and Grasshopper are then recruited. Although Maelstrom is defeated via Mr. Immortal's trickery, Doorman, Grasshopper and Monkey Joe are all killed during the course of the adventure (the last is murdered by Gene Lorrene, who seeks revenge for being refused membership). Mr. Immortal is also killed several times, but always recovers. Doorman is revived soon after his death and realizes he is connected to the Darkforce, while Mr. Immortal learns that he is actually Homo Supreme and has evolved beyond death. Despite defeating Maelstrom and saving the world, the Great Lakes Avengers' victory goes unnoticed. Discovering that they are all mutants, the team decides to rename themselves the Great Lakes X-Men.

A series of unusual events follow: Squirrel Girl acquires a new mascot, a female squirrel called Tippytoe, the second Grasshopper dies in orbit after misjudging his armor's capabilities; and Doorman becomes an "angel of death" and conveys the dead to the afterlife. After Flatman wins a superhero poker tournament, the team assumes the name, the "Great Lakes Champions", having won the team name from Hercules.

With the beginning of Civil War, the GLC decide to comply with the Superhuman Registration Act, and actually wait in line to register the day the act is announced. The team is renamed the Great Lakes Initiative, and becomes the official Fifty State Initiative-sponsored team for the state of Wisconsin.

The team and Deadpool stop A.I.M. from using an "inebriation ray" that will induce the effects of drunkenness on all superheroes. Deadpool is granted reserve membership on the team, but he is forcibly evicted from their headquarters after proving too much of an annoyance.


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