Tuesday, May 22, 2018 • Morning Edition • "Better than Bleeding Cool by that much."

Your Top Teens part 20

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, October 06 2009 and posted in Features

Three X-muties and a Naruto. You know, when I wrote that, I sang that sentence to "2 turntables and a microphone". I bet you are now doing the same thing. Hah. I rule.


131. Beak (18 points)

beak.jpg"Awww, poor Beaky."

"Morrison's greatest creation."

Oh boy.

When Beak first came to Xavier's Institute he became a student in Xorn's special class. There he fell in love with classmate Angel Salvadore, and later she became pregnant. Because of her mutation, or possibly a combination of both Beaks and Angel’s mutations, she shortly after laid eggs, and the children hatched after a few days. All the children were born with mutant features similar to both Beak and Angel Salvadore, and fully capable of walking, speech and flight. Beak and Angel were given a cabin in the woods next to the mansion to live in with their kids.

Later on, all of the students from the special class joined Xorn's new Brotherhood of Mutants, and Beak also joined the Brotherhood but he soon rebelled against them.

After some time the reality-hopping team known as the Exiles came to Earth-616 and Beak helped them on a mission, after which the Exiles were forced by the Timebroker to trade team-member Nocturne for Beak against his will. He had no choice and went with them and was crucial in the defeat of both Tanaraq and King Hyperion.

Many missions later he was returned to his reality just in time for the Scarlet Witch's de-powering of mutants resulting in Beak, Angel Salvadore and five of their six children being de-powered. Beak, however, was just happy to be reunited with his family and returned to live in the hut near Xavier Mansion.

One of Beak and Angels kids, Tito Bohusk, still has the mutant gene.

Sometime after that, Beak, along with Angel Salvadore, joined the newest incarnation of the New Warriors under the new code-name Blackwing. He also now calls himself Barry. Still de-powered he now has a costume that allows flight. Apparently he has worked out and got a nose-job. He also recruited depowered New Mutant Renascence to join the new New Warriors. Beak and Angel and their kids now lives in a big house.

130. Warlock (18 points)

warlock.jpg"Because, wow, he's Warlock. Just looking at him from panel to panel made me giddy. Also, he was a troubled teen from another world to which almost no young reader could relate; which for some reason, I found really comforting when I myself was a teen reading New Mutants. I'm looking forward to his return in the new series."

Travesty of fucking justice. Right here. You all suck.

Warlock is a member of the alien Technarchy, a race of mechanical organisms that survive by infecting living creatures with the "techno-organic" transmode virus, before draining the life energy ("lifeglow") of the infected organism. Warlock, unlike others of his race, possesses a distinctive degree of compassion, and as a result has been described as a mutant himself. He is the son of the Technarch ruler, Magus, who has battled the New Mutants and the X-Men. Warlock served as a member of the original New Mutants for much of that group's existence, and became the best friend of his teammate Doug Ramsey, alias Cypher.

Despite Warlock's compassion, he did not completely understand that other humans and living animals were not to be drained of that 'lifeglow' at will. He at first restrained himself because his friends desired him to, though he disobeyed this during a trip to Asgard, where he killed and drained a dragon while lost in Hela's realm. However, he did this solely as a means of survival as he had lost a great deal of his own personal energies at the time.

His initial trip to Asgard came around because the Asgardian god Loki wished to gain revenge on the X-Men. Because the New Mutants were vacationing with Storm, Loki's ally the Enchantress mistook them for the X-Men. During this adventure, like with many others, Warlock would team up with Doug, keeping him safe. Though the two often worked together to confront enemies, Warlock's constant protection only served to lessen Doug's self-esteem.

His shape-shifting abilities led him into a confrontation with the Impossible Man. This soon snowballed into an Earth-threatening incident as both entities tried to outdo each other. This only ended when Warlock showcased his ability to change color, something which the Impossible Man could not do.

Doug's death at the hands of the Ani-Mator understandably devastated Warlock, leading him to go so far as to steal Doug's body. With the help of the rest of the New Mutants, he came to terms with Doug's death (and returned the body to its rightful place). He continued to serve with the team, which led to a second trip to Asgard. Warlock and two new friends, Boom Boom and Hrimhari, became separated from the rest. They traveled Asgard together. They were 'rescued' from imprisonment by the children of Volstagg, who sent them to talk with the mighty being Tiwaz. The trio eventually joined with a force to rescue the ruler of Asgard from an assassination attempt.

During the crisis known as Inferno, his shape-shifting skills became vital in neutralizing the demonic threats.

Warlock was kidnapped from the grounds of the X-Mansion, along with his friends Rictor, Boom Boom and Wolfsbane, and ended up on the island nation of Genosha, which was ruled by Cameron Hodge. Warlock was killed in an attempt by Hodge to steal his powers. The news of his death was broadcast worldwide, a public relations disaster for Genosha, since the world believed Warlock to be a 'normal' human mutant. Wolfsbane, who due to her own problems decided to stay on the island, asked Boom Boom to put Warlock's ashes on Doug's grave.

Warlock had a distinctive way of talking during his stint in the New Mutants comics, frequently referring to himself with the personal pronoun "self", and to his teammates as "selfriends". Doug, thanks to selflessly offering his life energy to keep Warlock alive during a dangerous mission in Asgard earned the unique honorific title of "selfsoulfriend" or "selfsoulfriendcypherdoug". Danielle Moonstar also gained a unique title from Warlock, likely due to her Native American ancestry, calling her "chiefriend" or "chiefriendani".

129. Beast (18 points)

beast.jpg"In his teens he was probably the most well adjusted mutant on the planet. Smart, fun, and funny."

"Not quite as cool as the blue furry version, but cooler than his current furry blue feline version, the original teenaged Hank McCoy showed everyone what they say about guys with big hands."

The first of three original X-Men to make the list. Yes, that’s right, only three of the five make the cut. Which ones were not voted for? Well, wait and see..

Hank McCoy’s father was exposed to radiation when working at the nuclear power plant. Because of this, it seems to be the reason why Hank had unusually large feet and hands and a high I.Q. Because of his irregular proportions, his schoolmates teased him and gave him the nickname of "Magilla Gorilla" and "Beast". Hank only started to come out of his shell when he started tutoring Jennifer Nyles. She started to see the real Hank McCoy, and on the night of the prom she turned up at his place with a rented tuxedo and told him he was taking her to the prom. When some people started to tease them, Jennifer knocked out the leader of the taunters with one punch. After that Hank and Jennifer were inseparable, and in love with each other, but still not going out.

During Hank's teen years, his mutant abilities started to show themselves and allowed him to become a super sports star and excel in the academic side of school. Hank ended up joining the football team after the coach asked him to kick a football and he kicked the skin off it. However, this caused jealously amongst his classmates. Sadly, Hank and Jennifer went their separate ways; she traveled to London to study genetics whilst Hank stayed in the U.S. One day, three masked men robbed the stadium and tried to escape across it. Luckily, Hank was nearby and he managed to knock out all three men. This made it to the news. The villain known only as the Conquistador decided that he could use Hank as a weapon after seeing this report. The Conquistador successfully managed to kidnap Hank and his parents, and told him that he would release them when he stole an experimental nuclear device. When Hank returned, the Conquistador revealed that he would actually keep Hank's parents prisoners indefinitely, until Hank was of no more use to him. Hank tried to escape and was almost killed if it wasn't for Professor Charles Xavier, Cyclops, Iceman and Angel saving Hank, before offering a spot for him in Xavier's school (Xavier Institute for Higher Learning). The school was a haven for mutants and also the headquarters of the mutant team, the X-Men. Hank took advantage of the offer, mainly in order to further his academic intelligence and ended up completing his doctorate in biophysics at Xavier's. There, he received the codename "Beast."

After an occasion when Beast saved a falling child, he quit the X-Men, as he was sick of protecting a world that hated and feared him. He started a career as a wrestler, still calling himself the Beast. But one of Hank's opponents was none other than Unus the Untouchable, who was also a mutant. Hank realized that his place was still with the X-Men, and built a device to increase Unus's powers to the point where he couldn't control them. He only decreased them to their original level after Unus vowed not to join the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. With that done, Hank rejoined the X-Men. He also started dating a librarian called Vera Cantor thanks to Iceman's girlfriend setting him up with a blind date. Unfortunately, their first meeting was interrupted by Vera's ex-boyfriend, Calvin Rankin. Calvin was a mutant who could copy the powers of other mutants, and he was at first a villain, but later joined the X-Men for a short while.

Over time, Xavier granted the X-Men new costumes as a reward for proving themselves time after time. Hank received a new blue-and-red costume which was similar to his training costume. Not much later after that, Kraven the Hunter appeared, who wanted to test his skill against Beast. Kraven poisoned the X-Men's house guest, Avia, and would only give the antidote if he was allowed to fight Beast without interruption. Kraven wasn't the type to play fairly, and he had traps all around the house to try and stop Beast. Hank couldn't dodge them all and was hit by some drugged darts. The darts had been meant to slow down the blood flow to Beast's brain, thus slowing his reflexes, but had a side-effect. With Hank's higher-brain functions inhibited, it made him revert to a frenzied rage, and would have killed Kraven if the X-Men hadn't stopped him. After this fight, Beast held back in action in case another incident like this occurred.

128. Neji Hyuuga (18 points - 1 first place slot)

neji.jpgNeji is from the second branch family of the Hyuuga clan. Hyuugas
that are not a part of the main branch and are thus considered lesser. He has struggled to prove that destiny is meaningless and to surpass the main house. Neji is an inheritor of the Byakugan, a Hyuuga blood-line technique. This provides him with a near 360 degree field of vision, telescopic vision, and the ability to see chakra.

Although the Byakugan gives him a near 360 degree field he can see very far with it and he also has a blind spot in the lower part of his neck. Due to the punishments his father received as well as his father's influence, Neji also came to resent the main branch. But this would change when Neji hears that his father voluntarily sacrificed himself for his twin brother who's apart of the main branch. He believed that his father Hizashi was forced to sacrifice himself for his brother.

Due to his strong resentment of the main branch at the time during the Chunin Exams, Neji brutally beats Hinata, his cousin in the Preliminaries in the Chunin Exam. In the finals Neji fights Naruto. At first Neji is winning but in the end Naruto wins. At the end, Neji's resentment of the First Branch is gone.

Neji joins Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba and Akamaru, and Naruto in a mission to retrieve Sasuke. They find them within a container. They hide and Neji uses his Byakugan to see what's in it. It turns out that Sasuke is in it. When they are trapped in a rock dome by Jirobou, one of the Sound Four Shikamaru tells Neji to use his Byakugan to find the weakest point in the dome after Kiba uses his Garouga Jutsu. Choji then uses the Human Boulder Jutsu to get out. They then leave Choji to fight Jirobi and everyone else to go after the rest of the Sound Four and Sasuke.

Shikamaru tries to beat Jirobou in order to get Sasuke but fails. Kidomaru of the Sound Four stay while the two go on. Each person attacks but the get caught in his webs. After a surprise attack from Naruto that distracts Kidomaru, Neji uses his Byakugan to cut the webs along with Shikamaru, Neji, and Kiba and Akamaru. The three go while Neji fights Kidomaru.

In the beginning Kidoumaru goes into Cursed Level one form but stays far from Neji knowing he can't get close. He then summons the spider Kyodaigumo who releases hundreds of spiders. Neji fends them off with his Eight Trigrams Rotation. Kidoumaru tries to throw a Sticky Spider Web kunai at Neji but uses the web of the spiders to block the attack. Kidoumaru then shoots more of these kunais but Neji dodges them all.

But Kidoumaru release more spiders when Neji attacks with the Eight Trigrams 64 Palms. When he brings out more spiders He doubles the number to 128 Palms. While this happened Kidoumaru throws a web kunai in the back of Neji that rips through his clothes on his shoulder. When he tries to attack the spiders another web dagger is thrown stabbing him in the back and Neji coughs up some blood.

Alot more daggers are released and while Neji is quickly dodging them spiders are coming down and a dagger cuts the band that holds the end of his hair and two more stab Neji in the back again. Kyodaigumo jumps on to Neji which raises clouds of dirt around them. When the clouds go away Kyodaigumo roars. Neji uses the Juuken which focuses his chakra into his fist and arm and punches the large spiders stomach causing the spider to bubble up and explode into web when Kidoumaru sends more web daggers at Neji. Two more daggers stab him in the back and he falls to the ground.

As Neji gets up Kidoumaru goes into his Second Cursed Seal Form. He has red skin and has a third eye under his Sound Headband and makes a bow and arrow out his web and notices the Byakugans blind spot behind the neck. His hair grows longer and gray along with two horns. Neji takes out the web kunais and runs behind a tree. Kidoumaru sends the arrow at him and controls it with his chakra with a line of web attached to it. Neji jumps behind a tree but the arrow goes through it and cuts his cheek and his Leaf Headband flies off. Kidoumaru sends a spiral arrow at Neji stabbing him in the stomach pinning him to a tree. Neji sends a burst of chakra through the line of web stuns Kidoumaru. He then remembers Naruto saying he wasn't a loser. Kidoumaru recovers using web at a tree which he hangs from. In the anime version, with determination to win Neji runs at Kidoumaru and Neji lands multpile strikes before finishing with one last strong strike, sending Kidoumaru to the ground. In the manga version, Neji is shown landing only one single but lethal strike that kills Kidoumaru.

Kidoumaru reverts back to his normal form and wonders how Neji lived when he should've died. Neji tells him that he knew he couldn't dodge the last attack but he could take it head on. He reveals that he knew this weakness of the Byakugan before he did. He used his chakra to deflect the attack. He moved a few centimeters so he wouldn't die instantly but be heavily injured. Kidoumaru says Sasuke came to them of his own will but Neji believes Naruto can save him. Neji lies on the ground, as Kidoumaru dies. Neji then remembers meeting Hinata as kids, seeing his dad die, doing things with his team, meeting Sasuke, fighting Hinata and naruto in the Chunin Exams, the funeral of the Third Hokage, and the team to get Sasuke. He says that he leaves the rest to everyone as a feather falls in his hand.


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