Saturday, April 21, 2018 • Morning Edition • "But first you're gonna blow me!"

Your Top Teens part 22

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, October 06 2009 and posted in Features

Due to time restraints, only two this batch.


124. Number 5 (19 points)

number5.jpg"Number 5 is just a hardcore mofo."

"He scares me."

00.05 looks like the Umbrella Academy's youngest, member but is actually its oldest and one of its deadliest. Lightening quick and surgically precise in his actions and with an unmistakable panache. Before the Academy's first public appearance he ran away from home, or more appropriately ran away to the future. The future was bleak to say the least. It took him years to figure out the equation to allow him to travel backwards in time. One day it finally occurred to him in a hallucination and finally returned to his own time. Unfortunately he didn't go back far enough and arrived shortly before Dr. Hargreeves' funeral and his body had regressed to his twelve year old body. He finds out from Dr. Pogo that his body's cells aren't dying but no new ones are growing, essentially that his body is stuck in time. He and pogo go to coffee shop to talk and wind up encountering men in red costume with laser weapons. 00.05 quickly and messily eviscerate his attackers and then departs with pogo but not before thanking his waitress. 00.05 returns to the mansion after Vanya attacked it and finds Hargreeves' monocle and a dead Dr. Pogo. 00.05 was present at the final battle and was responsible for stopping The White Violin by shooting her in the head.

00.05 reappears in the beginning of "Dallas" at a dog track after he lost, and is then immediately ambushed by more of the red jump suited assassins that attacked him in the diner during "Apocalypse Suite", expect in greater numbers than before. He refers to them as the Temps Aeternalis" and then messily dispatches them all. But not before the last surviving member calls in for back up in the form of Hazel and Cha Cha. 00.05 immediately freaks out and blows the man's head apart, but the back up order was confirmed and Number 5 states in shock, "we're already dead."

The Rumor tracks Number 5 to a seedy motel where a chimp dressed as Marilyn Monroe is singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" to him. The Rumor tells him that she wants to know what is going on.

Rumor and 00.05 go on a walk to discuss the years he was missing and he reveals that he encountered the time enforcement agency known as The Temps Aeternalis and his superior was apparently a sentient goldfish in an exo-skeleton, he was subjected to various horrible surgeries to improve his physical performance. He was made an agent and did assassinations for them. years later he found out that he was indirectly responsible for every major assassination of the past century. When he found this out he fled, The Rumor doesn't believe a word of this until the goldfish appears and tell Number 5 he will assassinate his mother if he doesn’t. He invites Rumor to come. When she asks why she should care the goldfish reveal 5's mother is going to have twins.

Number 5 and go to the Temps headquarters and arrange a plan to make 00.05's past self go through with the assassination of JFK. They set up shop right out side of the book suppository in Dallas, to arrange the death of John F. Kennedy. Shortly after wards in the past things don't really go to plan as 5's past self kills most of the agents, past 5 doesn't go through with assassination as before and it's reveal that Rumor assassinated Kennedy after all after the Temps surgeons restored her vocal chords When they returned to past Carmichael (the goldfish) is waiting for them with ice cream. When 5 asks about what will happen to him Carmichael brushes him off. Enraged 5 smashes the glass container in the head of Carmichael's exoskeleton that houses his fishy body, and tells him off before eating him alive, thoroughly disturbing everyone who witnesses this (surprisingly enough Seance). he then has some ice cream with his new puppy. He also mysteriously finds the model earth from his diorama in his childhood.

123. Warpath (19 points)

warpath.jpgJames Proudstar grew up on a reservation and idolized his older brother John. John was offered a role in the X-Men for a mission to save the original team. John took on the name Thunderbird but was killed on an early mission with the X-Men. James' life was shattered and he blamed Charles Xavier for his brother's death.

Emma Frost, the White Queen of the Hellfire Club and Headmistress of her own school for mutants, took advantage of James' hatred and offered him a role in the Hellions. James took on the name and costume of Thunderbird. In trying to defeat the X-Men for revenge, he realized that they weren't to blame for his brother's death.

With his desire for revenge diminished, James returned to his reservation. After returning from a trip to New York, James found his entire reservation slaughtered. Evidence pointed towards the Hellfire Club being responsible. He accepted Cable's offer and joined X-Force under the name Warpath. He figured he'd be able to use his new team to get revenge against the Hellfire Club. While being a member of X-Force, Proudstar developed a crush on team mate Siryn.

James had several missions with X-Force. He eventually confronted Emma Frost and learned that the Hellfire Club was not responsible for the massacre of his people. James eventually left X-Force. He later joined the X-Corporation branch in India.

Warpath possesses mutant super strength, speed, stamina, agility, reflexes, senses, and a high resistance to physical injury; his powers are similar to his brother's, but enhanced to a much greater degree. In the past he has shown the ability to fly but has not shown this ability in recent adventures, but he has been seen performing big leaps into battle that a normal human would not be able to perform. His strength has been extremely diminished. In the past, he was able to lift 75 tons with the potential of one day achieving 90. But now his limit is 25 tons. He's considered an expert in hand to hand combat. He is a former soldier and has been trained by Cable.


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