Sunday, June 24, 2018 • Evening Edition • "Comics: we give a crap!"

Your Top Teens part 23

Written by Chris Mitchell on Wednesday, October 07 2009 and posted in Features

Three for ya. I really like one of them.


paco.jpg122. Paco (20 points)

"BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF PACO AND HIS MIGHTY STICK! I was thinking about giving Jaime my vote but eh what about Paco? He needs some love too! Jaime's best friend so needs to be represented as he's such a great supporting cast member and friend to Jaime Reyes. And unlike say some bestest friends he hasn't gone insane or become Jaime's worse enemy. And probably never will. That and his mighty stick. Be afraid of it!"


When Jaime disappeared for a year he was questioned by the cops and released. He heard Brenda was almost beaten to dead by her father that a week later died in a Diu. Brenda herself was taken in by her aunt Tia Amparo. Paco visited her now and then in that year. With his best friend gone and Brenda living in another city he eventually joined the Posse. While he wasn't an 'extra' like the other posses he proved himself a worthy member. As he was not worth the time for thugs of La Dama he could keep the business site of the Posse's running. Working on fake lotteries, smuggling and body guarding on occasions. Along the way he began to have a thing with Posse member Piñata.

Exactly a year later after Jaime's disappearance La Dama's thugs were about to capture him and Damper was it not for the timely rescue of the Blue Beetle. Overjoyed by his friend's return he quickly brought him up to date of what happened in his absence. Telling the good news to Brenda not long after that.

Jaime requested from his friend to organize a meeting with the Posse with Paco working as the middle man. Regrettable to Paco, Jaime wished to talk with Posse member Probe about the nature of his new powers. But she was abducted almost a year ago and brought to Warehouse 13. The meeting was turned short as Damper's child Alina was adducted by the Bottom Feeder Jaime discovered he could track DNA signatures and rescue the child, while unintentional exposing himself at television.

After that a small group of the Posse used this new power to locate and rescue Probe at Warehouse 13. Paco had to moderate outside to plan an escape if anything went wrong. While the Posse and Jaime infiltrated the compound. But that duty wasn't that save and all too soon he was discovered by the guards outside the compound. But was rescued by the Peacemaker but lost his Jeep in the process. Soon thereafter he discovered that Brenda's Aunt was the crime lord La Dama who was pulling all the strings in El Paso. The Posse themselves where able to leave the compound with half its residence

121. Araña (21 points)

arana.jpgA good place for her. She is new and yeah. So yeah, a good place.

Born in Brooklyn, New York, Anya was a normal girl until one night when she went out to a bridge to fight a boy from school. But when she arrived, a fight broke out between a group named the "Sisterhood of The Wasps", and a group called "The Spider Society". The fight left her severely injured, but Miguel (the sorcerer of the Spider Society) transferred some of his power to her, saving her life.

She received a spider-shaped tattoo from the energy transfer, Which gave her enhanced strength and agility, as well as the ability to form and exoskeleton around her. Miguel and Araña (known as The Hunter at this time) teamed up many times for the Spider Society, and prevented the Sisterhood of Wasps from summoning their chosen warrior. Araña recently learned that Hunters (of The Spider Society) don't have an exoskeleton like she has. In yet another battle against the Sisterhood of The Wasps, the Wasps were once again trying to summon their Hunter. The Sisterhood was unsuccessful, but Miguel did not survive the battle despite Spider-Man's help. Araña transferred her power to Nina Smith, another Spider Society member, after the death of Miguel. Although she isn't a Hunter anymore, she still has many of her superhuman abilities.

Araña chose to register with the government after an encounter with Wonder Man and Ms. Marvel. She has since then been doing a lot of work with Ms. Marvel. She was being held hostage by the Puppet Master along with Stature, Dusk, Tigra and Silverclaw. When she was ordered to kill Ms. Marvel, Anya resisted the mind control long enough to be restrained by Machine Man and Sleepwalker, because she sees Carol as a mother-figure.

When an alien kidnapped Ms. Marvel, Araña came after her, but she was stopped by Agent Sum. When they got to Monster Isle, where Carol was sent, Anya and Agent Sum confronted the Brood. During the battle with the aliens, Ms. Marvel appeared to them as Binary and defeated the Brood. Anya went back home and apologize to her father.

120. Simon Dark (21 points)

simondark.jpgI don't know anything bout this dude, and I didn't even know he was a teen. Go figure.

Simon Dark is a creature similar to Frankenstein's monster in that he's made from stitched together pieces of other bodies. His face and size reveal that he's approximately 17 or 18 years old, but he usually wears a mask to cover it. Simon doesn't know who he is or how he got to where he is now. He can remember everything he's ever read or seen, but he can't remember his past. He lives in the remains of an old, blown up church with his pet cat and things he's scavenged.

Simon is very stealthy, often appearing behind enemies without them knowing it. He is also exceptionally agile and strong for his size (or even for a normal human). Though Simon walks and talks like a normal person, he may be just a living corpse. He was able to travel across Gotham's rooftops shortly after being shot repeatedly by police and pronounced dead by a coroner, so he probably doesn't react to physical trauma the same way other people do. However, he was not totally unharmed by the shooting, so exactly how his body works is unknown. Simon Dark seems to have been created from a number of dead bodies and, as such, has no memory of his past. He exhibits some super-human abilities such as enhanced speed and agility, as well as extraordinary strength. He also states that he remembers everything he reads, which implies he may have a photographic memory.

Simon Dark is named after a children's nursery rhyme popular in Gotham City. This is how the song goes:

"Lurks in the shadows. Hides in the dark.

Simon. Simon. Simon Dark.

If you're good he'll stay away.

If you're bad he'll make you pay.

Lurks in the shadows. Hides in the dark.

Simon. Simon. Simon Dark."


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!