Tuesday, November 25, 2014 • Evening Edition • "At least we're not ComicsAlliance!"

Yout Top Teens OPC part 6

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, October 27 2009 and posted in Features

Last batch of OPCers...

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Dilton Doiley
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The first word Dilton Doiley said was Pythagoras, a great mathematician, historian instead of mummy, daddy. When he was one year old, he was already solving complicated mathematics problem

Dilton is an only child. Mr. and Mrs. Doiley, amazingly, look very much like their son. All three Doileys have straight, flat black hair. And they all wear thick-rimmed glasses. But his parents aren't very smart while in another story, his parents were shown as quite smart, helping Dilton by building a satellite. They rely on Dilton for things like when the powerbox blows up. Dilton does have an elderly grandmother named Muriel. Muriel is very shortsighted. She mistook Dilton's girlfriend for a boy once when she was not wearing glasses! She too wears thick-rimmed glasses, although her hair is white.

Dilton also has two cousins. One of them is a beautiful blonde girl. Betty Cooper and Veronica Lodge were very unhappy when his cousin started flirting with their on-again and off-again boyfriend, Archie Andrews. They encouraged Dilton to usher her out of town. The other is an annoying little boy with brown hair and glasses. He proved to be smarter than Dilton. He once beat him at chess! The Doileys don't seem to have any pets, although sometimes Dilton brings in rats and chickens and the like to experiment on in his laboratory.

Dilton is the typical "nerd" type. He is extremely smart. In one issue, it was revealed that his IQ was 200! He often helps out his friends with their homework using his smarts. In one story, he was able to use his immense smarts to throw the basketball in the hoop just by calculating! One story was that he helped the mayor straighten out his budget. Being this smart isn't always the best thing for Dilton, as Reggie Mantle, Riverdale prankster, sometimes pretends to be his friend just so Dilton could help him with his homework. Thankfully, this backfired for Reggie. Not only was he caught, he was also forced to do his homework all over again. But this proves that Dilton was too trusting. Dilton enjoys building things and thinking up inventions in his laboratory. (His laboratory is really just his garage, but in some issues, he has a secret passageway in his room leading to another, more elaborate lab.) He has a female robot to assist him. Dilton also has a talking computer, but this is rarely shown in most of his stories.

However smart he is, Dilton is always very, very shy around girls. Once he asked his friend Archie Andrews to dress up and pretend to be a girl so that he could try his "flirting" skills out on him. Another time he invented a female robot to serve as a dating partner. That didn't work, and he switched to trying to get an actual Riverdale girl to like him. He even brought barbells and tried to work out! Dilton is a very resolved and sweet person. Too bad for the bullies who sometimes pick him for a target. You never know what new defensive invention he has up his sleeve! However, Dilton Doiley can be very fierce like a tiger, shown when Reggie made fun of Moose and Dilton pounced on Reggie, threatened him despite his smaller size.

Dilton loves school sports. But due to his small size and built, he fails to be able to make even the tennis team. So instead he tried out for the part of the Riverdale mascot. At games, he's now the Riverdale Bird, in a heavy costume with feathers glued on. His endless cheer for the team made them win the championship, and Dilton was declared a hero. One time, Dilton even made the track team. This was never mentioned in any Archie comic again, though. Dilton Doiley was once almost made the team captain of the basketball high school team but he gave up the chance in the end so as to not anger Archie and Reggie as Veronica had promised to date the school captain. However, in another story, he was top of the tennis ladder and stated that he got very good in table tennis due to the computer.

Dilton's best friend, oddly enough, is Moose Mason. Moose is a bodybuilder with a beautiful girlfriend named Midge. He is extremely jealous and will beat up anyone who tries to even talk to Midge. However, he's always very kind to Dilton. He calls Dilton his "little buddy". This is because Dilton is very small for his age. Moose always tries to protect Dilton from anyone who wants to tease him. Moose also encourages him to try harder in gym (not always with good results). In return, Dilton is seen in some issues tutoring Moose for a number of subjects. However, as moose is not very smart, sometimes he has to use creative methods such as creating a song for moose to remember for the test. One time, he even tried to get Moose elected for school president, while ending up winning the title for himself. However, even Dilton can't talk to Midge. Moose got mad at him in one story for that.

He may seem like a loner in most comics, but Dilton is on very good terms with most of the Riverdale gang. His close friends include Betty Cooper, a sweet blonde girl, Archie Andrews and his best buddy Jughead Jones, and Big Ethel. He's wary of Reggie Mantle, a nasty guy who plays tricks on everyone.

Despite being shy with girls, Dilton actually has had some dates and relationships before! His first love was Dannie Malloy, a redheaded girl. Danni was just as smart as him, if not more. The two spent lots of time in Dilton's laboratory, doing experiments and testing out inventions. They also went out for a while. Danni disappeared when the Dilton's Strange Science series ended. Dilton has also dated some girls like Big Ethel. Big Ethel really likes Jughead Jones, but he always ignores her. Fed up, she turned to Dilton who told her that she deserved better. What they both had in common was that their size made them stand out. They respected each other and understood the feelings of being awkwardly sized.

One of Dilton's bigger crushes was on Veronica Lodge. Veronica, or simply Ronnie, is a spoiled rich girl. She's said to be the most beautiful girl in Riverdale. She lives in a mansion bigger than a mall. Dilton couldn't stop thinking about her in one issue. He even made a computer printout with her name written on it over and over! However, Veronica was cold when Dilton revealed his feelings for her. She was interested when Dilton told her that, since he was so smart, he would make a lot more money than the guys she currently dated once he was out of school. But Ronnie told her she couldn't wait that long.


Hiro Okamura

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"Ok I know he's a damn Loeb creation, but God help me, I love the character. Leaps and bounds better than the original mort Winslow Schott. Plus him being a huge fanboy of Powergirl and Bats actually getting Hiro a date with her was utterly hilarious."

Hiro Okamura, is a teenage mechanical genius from Japan. He targets Metallo, claiming the cyborg's body was based on a material stolen from his grandfather. Hiro later becomes an ally to Superman and Batman in destroying a kryptonite meteor that threatens the Earth by building a giant Composite Batman-Superman robot, in which Captain Atom willingly volunteering himself in piloting the robot and seemingly sacrificing himself once hitting the meteor on impact.

Okamura fakes his own kidnapping at the hands of the original Toyman, Winslow Schott, forcing Superboy and Robin to search through his complex to save his life. Realizing his loneliness, Superboy and Robin extend their friendship to the boy. Okamura joins Robin and the other Teen Titans at Titans Tower for Superboy's funeral, clutching a Superboy action figure.

Okamura later offers to assist Batman and Superman in their quest to rid the world of Kryptonite, using spider-like nanobots to collect Kryptonite molecules in the air. But the duo refuses his help. His offer becomes a necessity as Lana Lang, in a last-ditch effort to get rid of Kryptonians and keep LexCorp afloat, turns a set of Kryptonite caches into "dirty bombs", which irradiate the entire planet. Hiro comes to the rescue, settling for a Power Girl-bot to "date". Instead, he gets his dream date, a dinner in Paris with the real Kara, and the status of honorary member of the Justice League.

Okamura is a noted genius who uses and creates more technologically advanced devices than the traditionally-constructed contrivances Winslow Schott uses and his work is largely whimsical in nature. Many of his inventions are inspired by anime and manga, including giant mecha (notably his giant Composite Batman-Superman robot).


Billy Everette
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"Well I got his opposite number, Vo Binh Dai, into the OPC on the Modern Character list, so let's see if I can go 2 for 2 with this one. Billy is the main character of The Other Side, a book by Jason Aaron about the Vietnam War that focuses on an American and a Vietnamese soldier and their journey from how they joined to how they left the war. Billy is a 19 year old American who gets drafted and does everything he can to avoid going to war. He even starts to hallucinate that his gun is talking to him, as well as some corpses. It's a very powerful and entertaining book that really paints both sides of this war equally. It's not bashing or praising either side, just showing that both have their reasons for what they did and that both do some fucked up shit along the way. Everyone should go pick this up, especially if you enjoy anything else Aaron is writing."

Bill Everette is a 19-year-old Alabama farm boy who's been drafted into the Marine Corps, while 19-year-old Vietnamese farmer Binh Dai enlists in the People's Army of Vietnam to fulfill his duty to his country.

Along the way, Private Everette encounters demonically vicious drill instructors, talking maggots, voiceless ghosts and a rifle that begs him to shoot himself. Vo Dai must undertake the long march south through black forests and bloody swamps, past tigers, dragons and mounds of dead. Both men struggle with their own demons and nightmarish visions ... before their inevitable showdown.

At first I wasn't sure of what to make of the ghostly visions seen by Marine Private Billy Everette in this comic, but by the end of the book, and its final shot (to the gut), the whole thing came together in expert fashion. At times the back and forth between the U.S. soldier's and the Vietnam soldier's story got a little too choppy, and some of the events feel like we've watched them unspool on movie screens before, but Cameron Stewart's grisly rendering of Jason Aaron's script made the horrors come to life in shocking, effective detail--and in ways we've never seen on a comic book page or anywhere else. And it only gets more cringe-inducing the longer it sits with you. Good stuff,


Teenage Tony Stark

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Tony Stark was revealed as an unwitting traitor to the Avengers while under the control of Kang the Conqueror, who had been using Stark as an unwilling sleeper agent for several years (later retconned into Immortus impersonating Kang and that Tony was under control for just a few months). Kang used Iron Man to kill many innocent lives and other heroes, such as Rita DeMara, and other Avenger teammates. The Avengers traveled back in time to recruit a teenage Tony Stark to fight the present-day Tony, and Kang. The teen Tony was able to steal an Iron Man armor from his older self and used it in battle against him. During the battle, the present-day Tony Stark would regain his memories and realize what he had been forced to do. As a result, he ended up sacrificing himself in order to kill Kang. The teenage Tony Stark would stay in the present time line following Iron Man's death, and continued his life as the new Iron Man. As for Stark’s company, it was sold to a Japanese rival named Fujikawa Industries.

Unfortunately for the teenage Tony, Onslaught arrived soon after, preventing him from gaining greater control over his life. In the final battle, many of the heroes of the Marvel Universe, including the teenage Tony, sacrificed themselves in order to defeat Onslaught. Luckily for them, Franklin Richards had created a pocket universe with all the heroes in it, and eventually restored everything back to normal, with Tony Stark restored to his normal adult age, but still retaining the teenage Tony’s memories. Tony also gained the help of Daredevil as his law firm, Nelson & Murdock, helped him to regain ownership of his company and assets. Next, Tony reconciled with the Avengers and rejoined the team.

So fucking retarded.






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