Saturday, June 23, 2018 • Morning Edition • "At least we're not The Comics Reporter!"

Your Top DC Heroes part 12

Written by Chris Mitchell on Thursday, January 07 2010 and posted in Features
5 more characters in 4 slots...


156. Tomorrow Woman (11 points)

Tomorrow Woman was created by Professor Ivo and T.O. Morrow to destroy the Justice League of America. She became a member of the group with powerful telepathic and telekinetic powers. She was in fact a bomb ready to go off at the right moment to kill the JLA. She eventually learned about freedom which her creators deliberately left out. She sacrificed herself by detonating an EMP bomb that was supposed to wipe out the brains of the JLA. It was then revealed that Morrow knew that this would happen and the two had argued on who had done a better job on her. Ivo had made the body which was good enough to fool Superman into thinking she was human though Morrow proved him wrong as he explained that the brain was sophisticated enough to become a human brain and discover free will, even though they had deliberately left it out.

The third Hourman revived her in the hopes that Tomorrow Woman could help him squishing the moral dilemmas and for the last fifty minutes of his hour of power. She existed in that time frame, saving lives and living life to the fullest and had taught Hourman the consequences of actions he makes. They had formed a special bond when Tomorrow Woman finally disappeared and left Hourman with a hole in his non-existent heart.

155. Polar Boy and Speedy (11 points each)

Polar Boy

polarboy.jpgYou know, I’m really uneducated when it comes to the Legion of Super Heroes. The only comics I have read with them in were the Superman arc and Legion of Three Worlds. And out of all the characters to appear, this guy was pretty badass. Seriously, I enjoyed him. I have heard of the subs and such, but why was this guy on the subs so long? He seems pretty damn powerful and such. Anywho, I am glad he is on the list, pissed he is so low.

Take it away, outsourcer...

The planet Tharr sits uncomfortably close to it’s sun, fortunate it’s inhabitants can all generate cold to protect themselves.

Inspired by seeing the Legion of Super-Heroes in action, young Brek Bannin journeyed to Earth in the dream of becoming a Legionnaire. His inexperience however led to his being rejected. Determined to make the best of it, he rallied other rejects and together formed the Legion of Substitute-Heroes.

Under Brek’s leadership, the Subs met with quite a few successes over the years, but then fell into a rut. Polar Boy disbanded the team and reapplied for the Legion. His heart (and considerable experience he gained over the years) earned him a place as the 33rd Legionnaire.

Brek recently lost his right arm but has created an ice arm for himself with full mobility.

Brek lives and breathes the Legion. His belief in the team inspires others members when they doubt if their efforts are enough.


speedy.jpgMia was a derailed teenager, who was in the prostitution ring, and was saved by Green Arrow (Oliver Queen) from her client. After that, Mia then becomes Green Arrow's ward. One day, Mia comes across his longbow, and Green Arrow offers to train her in efficiently using the longbow. From there on, Mia officially became his sidekick, though she had not yet taken on the name of Speedy.

However in 2004, it was revealed that she had become HIV-positive in light of her prostitution. Even so, Mia convinces Green Arrow to let her become Speedy. After a while, Green Arrow decides that she would do well in the Teen Titans. For Speedy to earn her spot, she is pitted against Robin. Even though Robin beats Speedy, she shows herself as a skilled fighter. After their first mission, she reveals that she is HIV-positive to the team, which they accept

One year later after the events of Infinite Crisis Mia is seen as one of the Titans while Cyborg was shut down and was then revealed to have been training on an island with Green Arrow and Conner Hawke. During her stay at the island Green Arrow recruited the best teachers in everything from long distance jumping to cooking. There she trained in many skills such as cliff jumping and sword fighting. She was later seen helping Brick and Green Arrow. She was also instrumental in rescuing Green Arrow from Amazon capture after he is presumed dead.

154. Hardware (12 points)

hardware.jpgCurtis "Curt" Metcalf is a genius inventor who, in his Hardware identity, uses a variety of high-tech gadgets to fight organized crime. A central irony of the series (of which Metcalf is fully aware) is that Metcalf's employer, respected businessman Edwin Alva - who provides the resources Metcalf uses to create Hardware's hardware - is secretly the crime boss who Hardware is trying to bring down.

Curtis "Curt" Metcalf was a working class child prodigy who was discovered aged 12/13 by a big-time businessman, Edwin Alva Sr., who with the blessing of Curt's parents, enrolled Curt in "A Better Chance" - "a program intended to get minority students into elite prep schools". Curt proved to be much smarter than all the other prep school students, graduating at 14, and earning his first college degree at 15. Edwin Alva Sr. paid for Curt's whole college tuition up to six additional college degrees, in exchange for Curt coming to work for Alva Industries (in the "Inspiration Factory") after graduation, with his "own lab, entirely too big a salary, and mandate to indulge (his) curiosity by investigating whatever struck (his) fancy"; and Curt's inventions made Edwin Alva Sr. millions of dollars.

After a few years, Curt, wanting a share of profits earned by his inventions, asked Edwin Alva Sr. for a "royalty point or two". Edwin Alva Sr.'s answer was, "Curtis let us dispense with any misconceptions you may be laboring under. You are not 'family'. You are an employee. Neither are you 'Heir apparent'. You are a cog in the machine. My machine. You are not 'respected', Curtis. You are merely 'useful'. You may go now." Curt's first thought was to quit, but it was in his contract that he could not work for a competitor: "If (he wanted) to work in (his) field (of expertise), (he) had to do it for Alva."

Curt thought that maybe, with some advanced hacking, he could find something on Alva Sr to use as leverage, but found that almost everything about Edwin Alva Sr. was "Stone Cold Crooked":

Curt: "It took me weeks to put it all together, but the evidence was clear and incontrovertible. Edwin Alva Sr. is at the center of an incredibly complex web of corruption. My benefactor and role model, the economic savior and humanitarian pillar of the city of Dakota has connections to organized crime. He launders tens of millions of dollars in drug money, he has most of the city and state government in is his pocket, he illegally manufactures weapons and sells them to foreign governments."

Curt decided to stop Alva first by anonymously sending "copies of evidence to the FBI, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), the state and local police, several newspapers and, just for fun, Hard Copy and A Current Affair." Then he waited a while for the fireworks, but learned that Alva was too big, beyond the reach of the law, so Curtis Metcalf then decided that maybe Alva wasn't beyond his reach; so with Alva's own equipment and resources, Curt created "Hardware - the High Tech Creature of the Night, who's been checkmating Alva's illegal operations for the last ten months is, in a way Alva's own creation."

So just about every night Curt dons a selection of his many high tech gadgets - (which he hides away in an abandoned basement/bomb shelter, connected to Curt's private lab by an old, sealed-off elevator shaft hidden behind a huge bank of machinery that can be swung away from the wall like a door) to track down and destroy all of Alva's illegal business operations and Alva's factories where weapons of war are manufactured. "This used to be a bomb shelter. Now it's where I keep all the stuff I've scammed from Alva. He's turned the city upside down looking for Hardware. I live in his basement."

Hardware works with many other super heroes over his career, such as Blood Syndicate and Icon. He even teams up with a few that he considers fictional, such as Steel and Superman. In one instance, he assists them in the evacuation of a newly built theme park, Utopia Park, which was being destroyed by riots.

Hardware has recently reappeared in the DC Universe, following its assimilation of the Milestone heroes. He makes his first DC Comics appearance in Justice League of America (vol. 2) #27, aiding the Shadow Cabinet in kidnapping Kimiyo Hoshi, and stealing the remains of Arthur Light.

During the mission, he defeats Red Arrow, and expresses an attraction to Vixen. After attempting to flee the Justice League Satellite with Light's shrunken corpse, Hardware is surprised and beaten into unconsciousness by Hawkman. It is later revealed that, during her brief period of captivity, Hardware gave Kimiyo a new costume which can collect and assimilate light energy. Due to this new function on her suit, Kimiyo is able to regain her powers and Dr. Light identity after Curtis gives her Arthur's remains.

Soon after, Hardware teamed up with Blue Beetle in order to stop SYSTEM smugglers from selling stolen Alva Industries technology to the notorious Intergang. The pair of heroes were ambushed by one of the smugglers wearing advanced SYSTEMatic powered armor designed by the new Gizmo, an ally of SYSTEM. Hardware begrudgingly realized he needed the Beetle's help to defeat the smugglers and capture the stolen weaponry. Despite his initial dislike of Blue Beetle, Hardware and the young hero part on friendly terms after successfully rounding up the smugglers.

Hardware later appears in the aftermath of the JLA's dissolution following Final Crisis. After raiding the hideout of Dakota crime lord Holocaust, he is forced into helping the remaining Justice League members track down Dr. Light, who went missing while chasing Shadow Thief and Starbreaker. Using a tracer installed in her costume, Hardware is able to track Dr. Light and the others to the Shadow Cabinet's HQ, Shadowspire. There, Hardware and the League confront Starbreaker, who has transformed into a massive being made of energy after consuming Dharma's blood.

During the battle, Hardware is successfully able to persuade young hero Firestorm from killing Shadow Thief, a feat that impresses Vixen. Thanks to the energy collectors in Dr. Light's suit and some assistance from John Stewart of the Green Lantern Corps, the group is able to defeat Starbreaker once and for all.

153. Lois Lane (12 points)

loislane.jpgIs she really a hero? Really? Anywho, I thought I write about the marriage of Lois and Clark. Cool? Cool. When the two marry on the TV series Lois and Clark, the comic writers decide that they get back together in a hasty manner and got married. Lucy Lane was Maid of Honor and Jimmy Olsen was Best Man. Lois' dad almost doesn't show up due to a fight but arrives during the last minute. Surprisingly, Bruce Wayne offers an apartment for them at 1938 Sullivan St. in Metropolis. Lucy, as a wedding gift, gave them tickets to Hawaii. During their honeymoon, they were attacked and Clark was kidnapped. Lois was forced to follow and single handedly rescued him. A week before the wedding, Clark had been approached by Maxima offering him to wed her. She discovered that Clark was powerless and flew off, disgusted. Once Clark regained his powers, she offered again, though he turned her down and they both fought, though he was able to show her to the door.

Back in Metropolis, a man that looked like Clark is murdered. Both investigate and discover that Intergang was involved. Lois discovered that Clark seems to be phasing out. Things got even worse when Atomic Skull broke out of prison and kidnapped Lois thinking it was his long lost love, Zelda. Lois, working with the Metropolis Special Crimes Unit puts Atomic Skull back into prison. Some suspicious help from Lex and the Contessa stabilize Superman leading him into a phase known as "Superman Blue." Now able to become an energy being as Superman, Clark in human form loses his powers and is completely vulnerable. Things get worse however when Superman splits once again, into Superman Red and Superman Blue.

Superman returns to normal, but thanks to Dominus, his perceptions are skewed, causing him to seemingly live through four periods of time. Lois also existed in each of the four. What Dominus didn't know is that once Lois and Superman kiss, it broke the illusion. When Lex Luthor bought the Daily Planet, many employees were fired except Lois, Jimmy, Clark and two others who are to work at his company. The job involved at LexCorp involves searching the internet for stories and posting it the company's site. Lois didn’t like working there, though she can do nothing to get out and do some traditional journalism. Lois also discovered that Lucy was pregnant, though with Ron Troupe and not Jimmy, on the same day when they took down the globe off the Daily Planet building.

Superman starts to have strange dreams and tries to stay ahead of disasters by patrolling Earth all day and night. His family, the Justice League and Lois try talking some sense into him, but are unsuccessful. Superman becomes even more obsessed with keeping the world safe and builds robots to help him patrol. Lois decides to take this into her own hands. She goes to the Fortress of Solitude with the JLA and United Nations forces, who fight Superman and his robots while Lois makes it into the Fortress. Lois is then able to confront Superman, making him realize what he has done and become. After kissing him, he realizes his wrong doing and realizes that Dominus was manipulating him all along. He defeats him in battle and returns to normal. The consequence for that was people felt they could no longer trust him. Lex lets Lois interview Superman, though he really planned to release Metallo while Superman was doing the interview to make him look even worse than before. The interview is cancelled just in time.

Superman is also called to Hell with other heroes to reignite the fires put out by Asmodel. Superman's body and soul are separated and he is forces to experience visions of harsh realities. However, the love between Lois and Clark is too strong and all is good in the end.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!