Friday, April 20, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "Guest-starring Wolverine's cold, dead corpse!"

Your Top DC Heroes part 37

Written by Chris Mitchell on Tuesday, January 19 2010 and posted in Features
I think chap is still bitching...


82. Detective Chimp (30 points - 3 first place slots)

detectivechimp.jpgWhen first introduced, Detective Chimp was a simple, although intelligent, trained chimpanzee, who acted as a "helping mascot" for the local sheriff, after helping him to solve the murder of his chimpanzee trainer, Fred Thorpe. He could not speak, but could understand humans and make himself understood.

The Chimp's origin has been revamped and expanded several times since his initial Silver Age appearances. 1989's Secret Origins (v2) #40 credited the experimentation of a microscopic alien race with Bobo's intelligence. This origin has since been retconned, notably in the Day of Vengeance six part limited series. In the latter it was shown that Bobo was captured in Equatorial Africa in 1953 by Fred Thorpe, who sought to train him for his carnival act: "Bobo the Detective Chimp". For the act, the Detective Chimp was trained to answer some detective-related questions using a combination of signals and rewards, giving the illusion that he could "discover the deepest secrets of the public". Bobo formed a strong bond with Thorpe because Thorpe took care of him, and gave him a simpler life than in the jungle. The success of the act lasted until a trip to Florida, at which time Rex, the Wonder Dog, took him to the Fountain of Youth, where he gained the ability to speak to all living creatures, even humans, in their own language, as well as eternal youth. (Rex and Bobo's journey to the Fountain of Youth was originally depicted in the aforementioned DC Comics Presents #35, July 1981). The intelligence Bobo gained put a damper on the success of the sideshow act, and in at least once instance, he decided that a woman had in fact murdered her sister, and shared his insights with the local police.

At some point after this, Bobo was employed by the Bureau of Amplified Animals. It is not known how he left, or if the Bureau still exists. After the death of Fred Thorpe, he began to work by himself. Initially he did quite well, as a chimp detective was seen as a novelty. During this successful period he was visited by another detective, John Jones (actually the Martian Manhunter, during the JLApe crisis), who thought Bobo's agency seemed to be doing better than his own.

However, as an ape, without civil rights and being unable to stand as a juridical person, he couldn't enforce unpaid bills. When the public began to forget him, he became an alcoholic. In Day of Vengeance #5, it is revealed that he had not left the other-dimensional Oblivion Bar since Jim Rook acquired it; neither had he left it at all during the previous two owners' tenures. Bobo, a smoker, is a member of Mensa, and had a long-standing partnership with four other detectives as the Croatoan Society. One of the other former members of the Society was the detective/superhero Ralph Dibny,

When the Spectre attempted to destroy all magic and began killing wizards, Detective Chimp, while still mostly drunk, coerced a group of mystical characters gathered from the Oblivion Bar into battling the Spectre. This led to the formation of the group Shadowpact. Although lacking superhuman powers, Detective Chimp exhibited not only fine detective skills but also the genius of a true tactician. Benefiting from the counsel of the Phantom Stranger (at the time transformed into a mouse), he devised a plan to use the powers of Black Alice and Nightshade to confront the combined menace of Eclipso and the Spectre.

In Day of Vengeance: Infinite Crisis Special, Bobo also helped clean up the demonic damage left when the Rock of Eternity exploded over Gotham City. He captured the sin of "Sloth," which had possessed his long-time friend Rex the Wonder Dog. After the Rock was reformed, the sins re-imprisoned, and all magical influence cleaned out of Gotham, the dying Doctor Fate gave Detective Chimp the powerful Helmet of Fate. After finding it did not fit him, Detective Chimp convinced Captain Marvel to throw it to Earth, to let fate choose its next bearer.

Bobo has remained with Shadowpact since then, and has fought alongside them during several adventures. In the one shot "Helmet of Fate: Detective Chimp," the helmet returned to Earth, knocking out Bobo. For a brief time Detective Chimp bonded with the helmet, which granted him additional powers that he used to assist the Gotham City police in apprehending the villain Trickster. After struggling against the temptation of the helmet, Bobo sent it on to another journey.

Recently, it has been shown that Bobo occasionally assists Batman in his cases by way of a chat room where they swap theories. The Riddler is also known to chat with them, but he is unaware of the other two's identities.

81. Holden Carver (31 points)

holdencarver.jpg"It really sucks to be this guy sometimes. He's on this list cause I got so wrapped up in his world as he gets into scrape after scrape. One of my favorite Brubaker protagonists."

Holden Carver was the son of a military man, James Carver. He followed in his father footsteps and joined the military himself. John Lynch saw potential in Holden and became his mentor. During a mission in South-America, Holden and his team found an artifact that came from the Bleed. Holden touched the artifact and the artifact attached itself to Holden's nervous system. The process killed the other soldiers and Holden was secretly taken back to the International Operations base. Lynch saw a golden opportunity for Carver to infiltrate the nameless syndicate of the notorious criminal Tao when he discovered that the artifact prevented any form of mind reading done on Carver. Holden agreed and left behind his fiancée Veronica. A cover story was set up for Holden: his recently deceased father was officially branded a traitor and Holden had become a rogue agent, blaming John Lynch for his father's disgrace. Holden had stolen the Bleed artifact and disappeared.

Months later, Holden was approached by Steeleye, a high ranking member of Tao's organization. He was recruited and slowly worked his way up in the ranks. Lynch was the only one in IO who knew that Holden was not really a traitor. When IO dissolved, Lynch asked his friend Cole Cash, also known as Grifter from the WildC.A.Ts to help him bring in Carver. Grifter came under Tao's influence though and shot Lynch, putting him into a coma. Holden saved Grifter later and told him his story, but before Grifter could get help, Tao erased Grifter's memory, leaving Holden stuck in Tao's organization.

few weeks after Lynch was put into a coma, Carver's friend Genocide Jones killed Steeleye for sexually abusing children. Holden covered up for his friend during a hearing with Tao. Tao told Carver that he didn't believe the story, but promoted him for his courage. Carver was now one of the three Prodigals, the highest rank within Tao's organization apart from Tao himself. Peter Grimm, another Prodigal, didn't trust Carver, but the third Prodigal, Miss Misery, took a liking to Carver and Misery had a sexual relationship with him that slowly grew into more. Despite his situation, Carver fell in love with Miss Misery and she returned his love, but Miss Misery's powers were unique: she thrived on evil and was physically strengthened by it. Anything she considered wrong would make her stronger, while taking the right action would result in disease and weakness for her. By having a meaningful relationship with Carver instead of just sex, the relationship was no longer "wrong" according to her and she began to fall ill. During this time Carver was forced to take many illegal and amoral actions to protect his secret identity and he came to rely on Miss Misery for comfort.

During a mission, Genocide Jones was killed and Carver knocked out Miss Misery to prevent her from being killed as well. Tao's troops rescued Miss Misery from the secret facility they were taken to, but Carver panicked and fled, now on the run from both the law and Tao's organization. Tao finally managed to track him down and revealed that he had known about Carver's status as a sleeper-agent all along. Tao argued that Carver now was more at home in Tao's syndicate than anywhere else. He was a survivor, willing to do whatever it took to stay alive, beyond petty concepts like "good" and "evil." Believing Tao and seeing no other options, Carver rejoined Tao's syndicate and continued his relationship with Miss Misery. Unaware to both Tao and Carver, John Lynch came out of his coma.

John Lynch contacted Carver and offered him the one thing he wanted: a way to get rid of his powers. John Lynch revealed that IO had captured an alien in the same area the Bleed Artifact was found. Over the next few months both Lynch and Tao tried to manipulate Carver against the other. Carver formulated his own plan though, he hoped that Lynch and Tao were so obsessed with each other that they would stop noticing him. Carver recruited Miss Misery (though he didn't tell her the full plan) and together they brought down Tao's empire and captured Tao with a little help from Grifter. When Carver revealed to Miss Misery that he wanted to cure her as well, Miss Misery turned on him, telling him that she didn't want to be cured. Veronica St. James, Carver's former fiancée, saw Miss Misery attacking Carver and shot her. Carver returned fire without thinking and saw that he had shot Veronica. Having lost everything, Carver tore out Tao's tongue and had the alien operate on him to remove the artifact. The operation succeeded, but left Carver in a coma. John Lynch used his mental powers to create a permanent fantasy for Carver where he happily lived on a tropical island with Miss Misery and Veronica.

80. Dawnstar (31 points)

dawnstar.jpg"My favorite Legionaire of all time. Her look, her powers, everything about her is remarkable."

Ugh. I only knew her from the Thunderdomes, and that place gave me so much joy, yet incredible amounts of pain. The DC bias of that place was fucking incredible. I had to "Vote Bitch" myself out just so Silver Surfer can win. And you can cough up your "scientific proof" and all that shit, but we know your experiment was flawed. Just thinking about it brings me pain. So I am handing it over to Amoebas, the Legion Expert now. Do it, Rockapella.

In the Future…

The colony world of Starhaven was inhabitated by an Amerind group originally from Earth. Mutations to the people gave them wings enabling them to fly as well as a natural tracking ability. None on the world better than a youngster called Dawnstar.

Dawnstar was the supreme tracker and even at a young age she became a successful bounty hunter once she was off world. Eventually her great skills came to the attention of Legion of Super-Heroes benefactor who enticed (and paid) her to attend the Legion Academy as use her abilities for a greater cause.

She was initially cold and unbelieving but with the assistance of instructor (and Legionnaire) Wildfire she began to realize her heroic destiny.

In time a group of villains called the Resource Raiders were running havoc to any worlds. The Legion of Super-Heroes brought Dawny (as many would call her) from the Academy to help. Her tracking ability and willingness to help earned her a spot on the Legion once the battle was won.

While still distant and sometimes outright rude to many of her fellow Legionnaires her loyalty to them is without question.

There came a day when Dawnstar needed to take a personal quest that her people each took to find their future (a type of non-violent Pon Farr). Her journey led her to a dead end, until she turned to see her team-mate (and victim of Dawnstar’s unrequited love) Wildfire. Accepting her destiny to be with the Legion (and to some extant Wildfire) she returned to active duty. Dawnstar would eventually meet her soul mate (Jhordan) but would leave that behind her to stay with the Legion.

Years later, the Legion would disband due to rampant xenophobia. Dawnstar would help lead a team of freedom fighters rescuing persecuted ‘aliens’. With the aid of Superman and the reformation of the Legion, they defeated the mad plans of Earth Man’s fear campaign.

Today, Dawnstar continues her work with the Legion has her relationship with Wildfire (non physical as it is) grows.

Oh – and she’s got the most perfect set of tits in the entire 31st Century.


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