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Warner Bros. Running Out of Ways to Screw With Alan Moore, Will Make Before Shining

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, July 31 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Warner Bros. Running Out of Ways to Screw With Alan Moore, Will Make Before Shining

Alan Moore may not have written The Shining, but Warner Bros. figures the movie is enough of a classic that making a prequel will spite him indirectly.

Source: Bleeding Cool

Even a prolific genius like Alan Moore only has so many classic works that can be exploited for spite and profit by DC Comic and Warner Bros., so it seems the company is digging deep to find other classics to make needless prequels to. Next up: a prequel to The Shining, the classic Stanley Kubrick movie based on a book by Stephen King.

Moore may have nothing to do with The Shining, but at this point, any mention of movie adaptations or prequels is sure to spook the beleaguered wizard, as DC has likely traumatized him with their shameless debasing of masterpieces like Watchmen and V for Vendetta, as well as their adaptation of his throwaway ideas into blockbuster comics events like Blackest Night. Reportedly, Moore rarely leaves his house anymore for fear of hearing of newly announced Warner Bros. projects exploiting his work, and he literally jumps whenever he hears the sound of a toaster popping up bread.

According to Bleeding Cool, Laeta Kalogridis, Bradley Fischer and James Vanderbilt have been attached to produce the film. We have no clue who those 1%ers are, but we have dutifully copied and pasted there names here for you.

Stephen King, on the other hand, is currently working on a sequel to The Shining called Dr. Sleep, which itself will likely be made into a movie which, based on the past track record of movies based on King books, has a 50/50 chance of being either really good or a complete disaster. Odds of complete disaster of Maximum Overdrive proportions increase to 90% if King himself makes a cameo in the movie, as the original Shining was actually the only King movie in which King appears that is not a total trainwreck.

So with both a prequel and a sequel to The Shining in the works, this reporter is not sure which one to follow. I suppose I'll watch whichever one has the highest proportion of bears giving blow jobs.

Here's a blurb about Dr. Sleep, also taken from Bleeding Cool:

Stephen King returns to the characters and territory of one of his most popular novels ever, The Shining, in this instantly riveting novel about the now middle-aged Dan Torrance (the boy protagonist of The Shining) and the very special twelve-year-old girl he must save from a tribe of murderous paranormals.

On highways across America, a tribe of people called The True Knot travel in search of sustenance. They look harmless—mostly old, lots of polyester, and married to their RVs. But as Dan Torrance knows, and tween Abra Stone learns, The True Knot are quasi-immortal, living off the “steam” that children with the “shining” produce when they are slowly tortured to death.

Haunted by the inhabitants of the Overlook Hotel where he spent one horrific childhood year, Dan has been drifting for decades, desperate to shed his father’s legacy of despair, alcoholism, and violence. Finally, he settles in a New Hampshire town, an AA community that sustains him, and a job at a nursing home where his remnant “shining” power provides the crucial final comfort to the dying. Aided by a prescient cat, he becomes “Doctor Sleep.”

Then Dan meets the evanescent Abra Stone, and it is her spectacular gift, the brightest shining ever seen, that reignites Dan’s own demons and summons him to a battle for Abra’s soul and survival. This is an epic war between good and evil, a gory, glorious story that will thrill the millions of hyper-devoted readers of The Shining and wildly satisfy anyone new to the territory of this icon in the King canon.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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