Neil Gaiman is writing a new adult novel, and no matter how good it is, fanboys will think it's better.
Source: Shelf Life
Neil Gaiman, the legendary comic book writer who gave us Sandman and then promptly distanced himself from the embarrassing albatross that is the comic book industry as quickly as possible, is reported to be publishing his first adult novel since 2005's Anansi Boys, a sequel of sorts to 2001's American Gods. Both American Gods and Anansi Boys were well regarded by critics as pretty damn good books, they inspire multiple orgasms on every read-through for fanboys, who have no perspective when it comes to their shameful hobby due to never having read anything but funny books and genre fiction.
The new novel, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, is set for a Summer 2013 release from William Morrow Books. Gaiman has produced far more children's books than adult novels over the years, but is still thought of as the best "real" author of all time by comic book fans, who treat even the kiddie books as literary classics.
"OMG, The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Goldfish, like, changed my life, man," said Cat Scratcherson, a fanboy, who was 26 at the time of its release. "It was better than anything a hack like Mark Twain ever wrote. Gaiman is the real quintessential American author."
Gaiman, who is British, recently announced a return to Sandman for a prequel comic, a fact that also delighted fanboys despite Gaiman producing no decent comics work in the past decade. That being said, his novels do tend to be very good, if not the earth-shattering literary masterpieces that fanboys like to think they are.
This reporter, whose daughter Coraline is named after a character in a Gaiman book, will now go into hiding, as, if this week's events have taught me anything, it's that fanboys hold their cows to be very sacred and have trouble detecting sarcasm.