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Bourne Beats Batman, Despite Prep Time

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, August 13 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Bourne Beats Batman, Despite Prep Time

The Dark Knight Rises ends its run on top of the box office charts after three weeks as The Bourne Legacy debuts at $47 million.

Source: Box Office Mojo

Comic book fans worldwide were dealt a shocking blow this weekend when The Bourne Legacy beat The Dark Knight Rises at the box office, taking in $47M to DKR's $19M. The defeat is difficult to believe, as most believe that Batman can defeat anyone, no matter how skilled out powerful, given enough prep time, and The Dark Knight Rises was released on July 16, giving it over three weeks of prep time.

"This is inconceivable!" shouted Cat Scratcherson, a fanboy, who admits that word may not mean what he thinks it does. "Batman has been shown to be able to beat Superman and Darkseid, two characters who are far above Jason Bourne as far as power level goes."

Many are suggesting that the implausible outcome of the box office battle is another example of DC's ineptitude at handling continuity, especially since the rebooting of their universe last year which left the childhoods of many readers in a state of complete and utter rape. "Dan and the gang have done it again," said Harald Winer, a notorious complainer.

While fans may be in disbelief, the fact remains that The Dark Knight Rises, the final film in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, has taken in $390M domestically and $835M worldwide, putting it at number 30 on the all time worldwide chart. That means that such unlikely characters as Nemo (Finding Nemo, #27), Alice (Alice in Wonderland, #11), Harry Potter (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, #4), and Jack Dawson (Titanic, #2) have all defeated Batman, along with many others, including Marvel's The Avengers (#3), which featured Bourne Legacy star Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye.

This devastating revelation is likely to shake the comics world to its very foundations. If any fanboys need to discuss their feelings on the subject, please feel free to join us on our forums, where our community is known for being extremely supportive and accepting.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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