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Michelle Obama Denies Rumors of Husband's Superpowers

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, August 13 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Michelle Obama Denies Rumors of Husband's Superpowers

In a speech yesterday, Michelle Obama claimed her husband lacked superpowers.

Source: Huffington Post

Hoping to stem rising speculation about her husband's extracirricular activities, First Lady Michelle Obama told supporters yesterday that Barack Obama was not Spider-Man, the webbed menace currently terrorizing New York City.

Spider-Man, a masked vigilante, has been the subject of an extensive series of attacks by respected publication The Daily Bugle, who claims that the so-called hero is in fact a muderer, a thief and a poor lover.  "He's a menace," said Bugle owner J. Jonah Jameson.

However, not everyone agrees.  Spider-Man has a cult following of fans throughout New York City, who claims that he is a superhero protecting the city from a variety of garishly colored supervillains.  In addition, he's often been seen hanging around Avengers Mansion and being accompanied by Captain America, leading to speculation that Spider-Man might be a high profile politician. 

A recent comic book showing the president and Spider-Man on the same page helped spur rumors into high gear, leading to Republican criticism that the President should be trying to fix the economy instead of spending his time webbing up crooks and getting into confrontations with the police.  Mitt Romney even suggested over the weekend that Barack Obama might be a murderer due to Spider-Man's role in the death of Gwen Stacy, a college girl killed during a confrontation with Spider-Man several years ago.

However, Michelle Obama looked to downplay connections between the president and Spider-Man during a fundraiser this weekend.  "My husband's not Spider-Man," she said.  "He's not a superhero."  She then proceeded to ask for campaign donations, reminding everyone that web fluid isn't cheap to make.

The president remains mum on the issue.  When we tried to approach the president for comment, he simply pointed at the sky claiming that a helicopter was about to fall on a dog and then quickly darted into an alley that Spider-Man immediately darted out of.   This reporter can't decide whether it was sheer coincidence or a sign that the President might be more than he appears. 


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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