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Marvel Clarifies the “New” in All New X-Men

Marvel Clarifies the “New” in All New X-Men

The adjective refers to the condition of the comic, not the cast, writing or plot.



Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Marvel revealed the cover art to “All New X-Men #1”, a brand new series featuring the original five X-Men in their original costume and original teenaged ages. They also hoped to clarify the use of the word “new” in the title, explaining that it refers to the condition fans will receive their books in.

“We promise that all copies of All-New X-Men will appear in a new or like new condition when it leaves the printers,” said Marvel editor in chief Axel Alonso. “All New X-Men will be made with all new materials that help us guarantee the highest quality comic on the stands. No more bent corners or faded ink ruining your reading experience!”

Alonso noted that this was a departure from recent Marvel Comics, which had been printed on recycled paper. “Fuck the trees,” he said. “Unlike other comic book companies, who may or may not print their comics on recycled toilet paper, Marvel is all about using virgin paper that’s never been printed on. Nothing about our comics are recycled…except for the characters and plots.”

The editor in chief admitted that there was some confusion of the usage of the word new, with many online fans pointing out the irony of describing the original X-Men as “new” despite the fact they’ve been in existence for over fifty years. “We totally understand the confusion,” said Alonso. “These characters are the opposite of new; in fact they’re quite old. However, we’re mainly referring to the physical condition of the comic and not anything related to the story or characters.”

Alonso also revealed that the Marvel NOW! Relaunch, presumed to be a marketing gimmick designed to boost sales via new #1s and creative team shuffles, was originally planned as Marvel NEW!, a line wide initiative dedicated to getting comics to the mail in new condition. However, the plan was scaled back after Marvel learned that the costs for Marvel NEW! would be greater than anticipated. Marvel instead reverted to the time honored tactic of switching creative teams around, renumbering a few titles and then pasings it off as the greatest thing since the invention of gutter space. DC employed a similar tactic last year with great aplomb.

Even with only one book being guaranteed new, Alonso hoped that fans would appreciate the gesture. “We just want to get the books to the customers in the best condition possible,” he said. “Fans have recently complained about the poor quality of their comics. If you’re one of those people, All New X-Men will be perfect for you! Everyone should pick a copy up, feel the high quality materials and then purchase it without even bothering to look at the story inside!”
 





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About the Author - ThanosCopter


ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
 

 


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