The iconic, first Indiana Jones movie will be seen on big screens to build hype for the Blu Ray release... and fans will hate it.
Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures on Blu Ray is hitting store shelves on September 18th, but fans who want to see a hi-def version of Raiders of the Lost Ark will be able to head to select Imax theaters and see it on the big screen the week prior. According to Ain't It Cool News, the movie will be playing in an unknown number of theaters from September 7th to 13th, in Imax. While this might sound like good news to the casual observer, the Outhouse knows that Indiana Jones in movie theaters post-1989 is an affront to all that is good and holy, and fanboys will not be pleased.
"This is an affront to all that is good and holy," said a fanboy. "And I am not pleased. Crystal Skull was, up until this point, the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of civilization. This will be worse."
The Outhouse attempted to explain that this would simply be the original Raiders of the Lost Ark - a movie that everyone loves - brought back to theaters and shown in all it's original, restored glory on a giant screen. It's not a new movie. It's a good thing.
"It's an abomination," the fanboy insisted. "I mean, Crystal Skull was bad, yeah? We all agree. The aliens, a seventy year old Harrison Ford, the refridgerator scene... Shia LeBeouf!!! George Lucas really needs to hang it up and leave the Indiana Jones TRILOGY - that's right, TRILOGY - alone. Stop pissing on our memories."
We tried again, explaining that Raiders of the Lost Ark was originally released in 1981, likely before the fanboy was even out of diapers. Even if he had a legitimate claim to some kind of emotional ownership of the Indiana Jones mythos as a fan, this was the movie that started it all, and surely any sane person would be glad to see it on the big screen again.
"Don't you understand?!" cried the fanboy, becoming even more enraged. "The original movies were goddamn classics! Lucas is worse than Hitler! He's ruining my life!"
At this point, The Outhouse, a reasonable website that would never compare an entertainment industry figure to a murderous dictator over something as silly as a movie, realized there was no changing the minds of fanboys on this matter. However, if you are a fan of Indiana Jones and not an obsessed lunatic with no life, you will probably want to stay tuned to the Outhouse, as we'll update you when we find out more about this showing and where our readers can go to see it.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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