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Robert Kirkman Plans Foreboding Centennial Celebration for Kentucky Town

Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, August 20 2012 and posted in News with Benefits

Robert Kirkman Plans Foreboding Centennial Celebration for Kentucky Town

The Walking Dead creator promises that nothing will ever be the same after the centennial event.

Source: Image Comics (for the teaser ONLY)

Between his writing duties on The Walking Dead, Invincible and Super Dinosaur as well and his producing duties on two television shows, one would think that Robert Kirkman would not have time to do much else. However, Kirkman has another role, one which he promises is about to come to an explosive and heartbreaking end next month.

Kirkman is the head of the Centennial Celebration committee for the town of Hilljack, Kentucky, a small town located on the fringes of Lexington. Founded in 1912 by Bartholomew Hilljack III, the town was a booming stop for moonshiners during the Prohibition era, but lost most of its luster over the past 90 or so years. Kirkman, upon discovering that the town was about to celebrate its 100th birthday, quickly began to plan a massive “unforgettable” celebration.

“I love 100th milestones,” said Kirkman as he sharpened a large stack of knives. “I recently celebrated the 100th issue of The Walking Dead and am about to release a 100th issue of Invincible too. And if you think those are shocking,” he added, pointing his knife at this reporter. “Wait ‘til you see what’s planned next.”

Kirkman launched the Centennial Celebration by convincing the local graveyard to give discounts on open plots, with the promise that it was never too soon to be thinking about death. He punctuated this by sending a series of teaser advertisements to townspeople showing prominent residents dead in gruesomely graphic photographs.

“It was very…unique,” said Dr. Josiah Cho, the local dentist. “I was very surprised to open up my mail and see a picture of me decapitated by a man in an inmate suit.” Residents expressed shock and worry about the beloved dentist’s fate, but Kirkman remained tight-lipped.

“They’ll just have to come and find out what happens!” said Kirkman. “I’m providing nearly 100 inmates at the nearby Supermax prison as staff for this and you never know what a bunch of sociopaths could do when grouped together.” He giggled with anticipation. “This party will be so big, the survivors are sure to be talking about it for the rest of their lives, no matter how short that might be.”

Kirkman also blew the one bridge heading out of town, explaining that a new bridge would be built after the Celebration took place. To help the city survive during the bridge’s absence, he’s been helicoptering in supplies along with guests and staff for the celebration.

“His offer to build a new bridge was quite…kind,” said Ms. Bonnie Lee Mayweather, a feisty redhead who’s decent with a rifle. “Listen, if I don’t make it out of here, tell my parents I love them very much,” she added with a whisper. “I know that [Kirkman] likes to kill off the popular ones.” Mayweather has been elected as Miss Hilljack three years running.

Kirkman’s been very vocal about the Centennial Celebration and has told everyone in the town that it will be a fantastic, unforgettable event with plenty of shocking surprises. “100th milestones are huge!”  Kirkman explained, drawing a pentacle on the town square with chicken blood. “We need to celebrate them with crazy, unique events. And then do it again a few years later!”

On a totally unrelated note, here's the latest Invincible #100 teaser, this time featuring Omni-Man, Invincible's dad, looking quite not alive.


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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