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CGC Announces New Nerd Grading Program

CGC Announces New Nerd Grading Program

The company, in conjunction with Wizard, announced a new grading service to help separate true nerds from poseurs.



Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
 

The last year or so has been marred with a number of controversies in which the "nerd cred" of various fans and attendees of comic book conventions, many of whom are female, have been questioned.  In response to the outburst, Certified Guaranty Comics, the company behind the wildly successful CGC grading program, announced that it was starting a new program designed to provide an objective measurement for nerdiness across the nation. 

The company announced that it would begin offering its "Nerd Grading" service at Wizard Comic Book Conventions starting this fall.  

CGC hoped that it would solve a lot of recent issues within nerd culture.  "There's been lots of talk about who counts as a nerd and who doesn't," said John Castkill, director of Fake Marketing at CGC.  "Now we have a totally legitimate way to bilk people out of more money...I mean, provide some objective closure."

The company began researching its new program as a response to demand from fans.  "We've discovered that many fans are anxious to clear their names from allegations of poseuring," said Castkill.  "Likewise, there's even more fans who simply can't wait to drag a booth babe to our graders so that their fake geekiness can be exposed for all the world to see. We saw an opportunity to make more money, so we took it!" 

The grading process will grade five criteria key to true nerdiness:  knowledge, appearance, disdain of lesser nerds, adherence to well-worn stereotypes and gender.  CGC explained that all nerds would be graded by specially trained, self-certified "nerd experts" each of whom has years of experience separating real nerds from fakes.  "Our nerd experts know the names of all the Doctor's Companions prior to 2005, can point out the 38 glaring inaccuracies in The Avengers and are trained to know the differences between accurate cosplay and cries for attention," said Castkill. 

Wizard World, the convention management company, seemed pleased by the announcement.  "We're always looking for more ways to bring in non-comic related activities and guests into our comic conventions," said Johnny Mullen, Wizard's Hoodwinking and Cheating Chief.  "This seems to be on par with the Situation joining our touring circuit."

The new grading system will be available for only $399 per person.  In addition, a plastic case will be provided in which to encase the graded nerd.  CGC noted that once the case has been opened, the nerd is instantly invalid and that the subject nerd would require regrading to relegitimize the score. 






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About the Author - ThanosCopter


ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
 

 


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