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Darth Didiomort Constructs A New Gom Jabbar And Other Mixed Metaphors To Take Out Alan Moore

Written by GHERU on Monday, August 27 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Darth Didiomort Constructs A New Gom Jabbar And Other Mixed Metaphors To Take Out Alan Moore

Darth Didiomort and his consorts hope to be rid of Alan Moore by New Year's Day 2013, and they have a plan.



Source: Fan Expo: "Before Watchmen" Team On New Series, Controversy

Not content with the destruction of comic’s greatest work ever (EVER!) Darth Didiomort called on his A-Number-1 Duke Of Creator Relations, J. Michael Straczynski, to write yet another Before Watchmen limited series.

The two-part Before Watchmen: Moloch will focus on that ugly troll/dark elf hybrid guy the Comedian cried all over in the original classic, now POS, Watchmen book.   While the stated goals of this abortion of a comic book is to tell Moloch’s story and sell comic books (something Before Watchmen has been pretty good at), the real and unstated goal is for this to be the final nail in the coffin of The United Kingdom’s last living great wizard, Alan Moore.

Moore, having barely survived the publication of the first wave of Before Watchmen books, has been weakened to the point that, much like Watchmen and all of his totally original ideas and creations, a two part gom jabbar focusing on minor character will destroy his soul, legacy, past & future works, and the whole comic book industry.  Moore was last seen in public with a withered right hand, physical evidence of the damage Before Watchman has had on his body and soul.

We at The Outhouse have always assumed that it was the goal of the head of one of the biggest comic book companies in the world to devastate and annihilate the product he makes all his living off of, and we are relieved to finally have the confirmation we needed to run this article as fact.

Before Watchmen: Moloch #1 ships 11/27/2012 with the 2nd issue available the day after Christmas.

May G-d have mercy on our souls.






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About the Author - GHERU


RU, or as he’s known in the writers’ room: the cute one, is relatively unappreciated in his time.  RU’s YouTube show, RUviews is watched by literally multiple people every month and his Outhouse articles have helped line many a bird cage.  Before you send RU a message, he knows that there are misspelled words in this article, and probably in this bio he was asked to write.  RU wants everyone to know that after 25+ years of collecting he still loves comic books and can’t believe how seriously fanboys take them.  RU lives in Akron Ohio (unfortunately) with WIFE, ‘lilRuRu, and the @DogGodThor.  You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, & even Google+ (if anyone still uses that).

 


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