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Hollywood Has Worst Weekend of Year; Joseph Gordon-Levitt to Blame?

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, August 27 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Hollywood Has Worst Weekend of Year; Joseph Gordon-Levitt to Blame?

The weekend's top-grossing film makes only $13.5 million dollars as moviegoers abandon Hollywood en masse.

Source: Box Office Mojo

It was only a few short months ago that the movie industry was on top of the world. With almost $1.5 billion dollars in worldwide gross, Marvel's The Avengers seemed to promise a banner year for cinema. However, beginning with the flop of The Expendables 2 last weekend, ticket sales have taken a dive from which the industry may never recover.

Though there were three new releases this weekend - Premium Rush, Hit and Run, and The Apparition - the top three spots on the chart were held by older movies: The Expendables 2 ($13.5 million), The Bourne Legacy ($9.5M), and ParaNorman ($8.7M).  The total gross for all movies over the weekend was $83.4M, less than half what The Avengers made in it's opening weekend. It was the lowest grossing weekend of the year.

"Joseph Gordon-Levitt makes a nice scapegoat," said one Hollywood insider. The actor, popular amongst message board posters, seems unable to carry a movie, even one with as exiting a premise as "bike messenger thriller." Premium Rush made just $6.3.

"This was JGL's shot at headlining a blockbuster movie," said the insider, "and he blew it. It's back to supporting roles in movies carried by actors with actual box office draw, despite the undying devotion of internet fanboys. Kind of like Nathan Fillion." It is unknown whether the abysmal failure of the film is related to recent revelations about bicycle superstar Lance Armstrong being a juiced out dopehead.

"Maybe people hate movies. Maybe they hate bikes. Maybe they hate Gordon-Levitt," mused our insider, clearly depressed. "Whatever the reason, things are not looking good. Hollywood may need to sue a few people from Bit Torrent just to keep our swimming pools heated over the winter."

All totals listed above unless otherwise noted, are domestic gross.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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