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Public Mystified by Mass Sightings of Rare 'Female Comic Book Readers'

Written by ThanosCopter on Tuesday, August 28 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Public Mystified by Mass Sightings of Rare 'Female Comic Book Readers'

Experts fear that the elusive creature's natural habitats has been destroyed.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Naturalists around the world are expressing worry after seeing a dramatic rise in female comic book readers.  While sightings of the endangered creature have been more common in the recent past, people have reported thousand of sightings today, mainly in the United States.   The phenomenon is being tracked on Twitter, where many are using the hashtag #WomenReadingComicsinPublicDay to keep track of the bizarre and unsettling phenomenon.
“We’ve never seen anything like it,” said Dr. Archibald Thandolous, Oxford University’s leading expert on female comic book readers.  “Female comic book readers have always occasionally popped up in society, but this is astounding.”  
While the exact cause is unknown, Thandolous speculated that the rise in sightings could be linked to some sort of traumatic eco-event that somehow drove the bulk of female readers out of their natural habitat. “If this is true, the female comic book reader could go extinct unless they quickly adapt to new surroundings.” Alternative theories proposed by others include a previously unknown migration pattern or a biblical sign of the apocalypse.  Some have even gone as far as to suggest that the mass sightings were somehow premeditated and coordinated.   Some have
Female comic book readers have long been an endangered species, and many ecologists were worried that the species would go extinct during the early 1980s, when good comic books, the female comic book reader’s stable food source, were in short supply.  “While some female comic book readers are able to survive solely off of superhero comics,” explained Thandolous.  “Most need a deeper and more filling type of book to feel satisfied.”
However, the population stabilized with the introduction of books such as Sandman and Y: The Last Man and actually has shown signs of growth over the last twenty-five years.  In fact, the thousands of reported sightings are an inadvertent sign of how much the female comic book population has grown.
It is currently unknown how female comic readers are able to reproduce, as the male comic book reader is generally considered an asexual being and rarely, if ever, mates. Perhaps the female reader is more likely to interbreed with closely related species that are more socialized, such as hipsters. Scientists are scrambling to study Scott Pilgrim, a hybrid hipster/comic book geek work, for clues as to the validity of this theory.
Many are mystified by the once in a lifetime event.  “I was riding the El Train to work this morning when one suddenly got on the train,” said Jerry Kalifidakis of Chicago, Illinois.  “She just got on, sat down and pulled out a copy of Catwoman.  Everyone was whispering and taking pictures.  I mean, who knows when you might see another female comic book reader in the wild?”
Officials everywhere are urging populations to remain calm and not approach the female comic book readers.  If sighted, they are best to be left alone and not hit on or engaged with awkward conversation.


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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