Tuesday, December 12, 2017 • Midnight Edition • "At least we're not ComicBook.com!"

Still Bitter About Imaginary Super Soldier, Nazis Plan to Thwart Avengers Box Set Release

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, September 06 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Still Bitter About Imaginary Super Soldier, Nazis Plan to Thwart Avengers Box Set Release

A German "suitcase" company has delayed the release of the Marvel Phase One box set due to concerns over the packaging.

Source: Entertainment Weekly

Fans have been looking forward to the box set containing all of the Marvel Studios movies from Iron Man to The Avengers, which was set to release on September 25th. However, it seems that they will have to wait until the spring instead, as a German "luggage" company, Rimowa, has filed a lawsuit alleging that the packaging for the box set, which is made to look like the briefcase containing the teseract from the Avengers movie, is too similar to one of their products.

The Outhouse has heard from exclusive sources (I.E. we made them up) that the luggage company is actually a Hydra front, and the lawsuit is actually a petty attempt at revenge for Captain America's defeat of The Red Skull during World War 2, depicted in Captain America: The First Avenger, one of the movies that is part of the box set. It is also rumored that the company is hoping to get its hands on the briefcase containing the teseract, despite repeated assurances by Marvel's lawyers that it is a fictional object and that the box sets contain only DVDs or Blu Rays. Undeterred, the Germans issued the following statement:

"Guten Tag! You vill giff us the briefcase vith the teseract immediately, or you shall suffer the wrath of Hydra!"

Immediately after the statement was released, France issued a formal declaration of surrender to Germany, despite no previous involvement in the dispute.

The Outhouse attempted to contact Rimowa for comment, but they confusingly replied, "Doctor Jones, surely you don't think you can escape from this island!" We explained that they appeared to be mixing up their movie references, and that anyway, all we wanted was the girl.

"And if we refuse?" they asked, to which we replied, "Then your Führer has no prize."


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!