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Turmoil Expected as Hastings Hosts Joint Release Parties for Avengers and World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Written by Jude Terror on Tuesday, September 18 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Turmoil Expected as Hastings Hosts Joint Release Parties for Avengers and World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria

Trouble is anticipated between the two competing nerd fanbases when the products share a midnight release date on September 25.

Source: Press Release

Either the release of The Avengers, the biggest comic book movie ever, on DVD, or the release of a new expansion for World of Warcraft, the biggest MMORPG of all time, on its own would warrant massive fan excitement. Someone at one of their respective companies fucked up, however, when they scheduled the release of the video game and the DVD for the same date, September 25, which prompted entertainment retailer Hastings to announce dueling midnight release parties at its outlets on Monday, September 24. "There's not enough room in Hastings for both groups of fans," said an expert on the subject, who wasn't speaking figuratively; both comic book fans and video gamers are pretty fat.

With two weeks to go before the Tuesday release date and the midnight release parties that will be held at Hastings stores around the country starting at 9PM on Monday, September 24, fans are already starting to line up at the stores to reserve a spot in line. At one Hastings in Cleveland, Ohio, Joss Whedon fans were amassing on the East side of the entertainment superstore, while Warcraft players were gathering in the West. If the groups were to combine, they could easily set the Guinness World record for largest open-air gathering of virgins, but, to to that, they would need to put their differences aside.

Two weeks may seem like a long time to wait outside for a movie or a video game, but the camps seem to be getting along fine. Over at the World of Warcraft camp, select fanboys are chosen every few hours to head out on a quest to procure food and supplies for the group. "I'm going to collect 40 sandwiches, 30 bags of potato chips, and 40 bottles of water, and bring them all back here for a reward," said one gamer, who was painted blue and dressed like a Rastafarian, like his World of Warcraft race of choice, the Trolls. "I do it over and over again. It never gets old!"

Meanwhile, in the Avengers camp, fans of Joss Whedon were passing the time another way. "Each day, we decide amongst ourselves who is the most popular person here," said a Whedon fan. "Then we kill them." Bodies are starting to pile up near the dumpsters behind the store, and the stench of death would be unbearable, if it wasn't masked by the body odor of hundreds of cosplaying fatsos.

Hastings executives are already second-guessing the ill-concieved idea of a joint release party. "We've considered calling the whole thing off," said a top executive for the company. "This certainly isn't what we had in mind. Maybe the WoW fans will leave if we explain that the expansion pack they've been eagerly anticipating, Mists of Pandaria, is based on the premise of athropomorphic bears. We could tell them the game shipped early, hand out DVDs of Kung Fu Panda 2, and then lock the doors and turn the lights out once they've gone home."

While the plan is a sound one, it is considered a crime in Ohio, and many other states, to trick people into watching a movie starring Jack Black, even if only as a voice actor. It seems that Hastings has made their bed, and they will have to lie in it. To find out more about the release parties, head to


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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