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Marvel Releases New Cyclops Marvel NOW! Teaser

Written by ThanosCopter on Wednesday, October 03 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel Releases New Cyclops Marvel NOW! Teaser

The series will focus on Cyclops' new home post AvX.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Warning: This piece contains spoilers from Avengers vs. X-Men #12.

Many fans were wondering what would happen to Cyclops after he was arrested by Captain America at the end of the Avengers vs X-Men.  Well, Marvel wasted no time in revealing a new Marvel NOW! teaser, along with comments from the creative team.  The teaser showcases the word "Assrape" with Jude Terror and ThanosCopter's names attached to the project.

Luckily, both creators are the spearheads of the Outhouse's "News Initiative", which has been retitled "NOW! Initiative" in wake of their announcement with Marvel. They exclusively explained to the Outhouse that the teaser will be a Cyclops centric series focusing on the character's time in prison.  "The title of the series will be called Cyclops: OZ," said Terror.  "Now that Cyclops is trading in his one-piece condom suit for prison garb, it's time to really get into the character's head, something that was missing during the whole of Avengers vs. X-Men."

ThanosCopter seemed excited about the new series.  "This new direction gives us plenty to explore," he said.  "How will Cyclops react to communal showers?  What gangs will he align himself with?  Who will he shank first?  Will he be a prison bitch or will he make other prisoners his bitch instead?  The possibilities are endless."

"I think the teaser kind of gives that away," replied Terror ominously.

Copter then showed off new character designs for Cyclops, showing the character wearing an orange prison suit with ripped off arms.  Interestingly, the character had a teardrop tattoo under one eye.  "The tear is a reminder of the things that Cyclops has done," Copter said, referring to the murder of Professor X.  "However, we might see him don new tattoos as the series goes on."

Terror promised that the series would continue to show Cyclops in a positive light.  "I see Cyclops as a modern day Jean Valjean," he said.  "Both are criminals that were in no way pushed towards a life of crime and are wholly responsible for their wicked actions.  Just like chicks dig Les Miserables, I'm sure that people will love Cyclops the same way."

"Just wait 'til you see the conjugal visits Cyke has with teenage Jean Grey!" added Copter.  "It's like the Doop issue of Wolverine and the X-Men, only creepier!"

Joe Quesada could not be reached for comment, probably due to his frantic calling of the Marvel legal department.

In case you couldn't figure it out, neither Terror nor Copter are actually affiliated with Marvel.  There are no plans for a prison-themed X-Book.  Also, prison rape is not a laughing matter and we don't condone laughing about it, even a little.  However, Avengers vs. X-Men is still an awful comic.


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About the Author - ThanosCopter

ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.


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