Marvel has announced Wolverine Season One by Supernatural writers Ben Acker and Ben Blacker.
At New York City Comic Con yesterday, Marvel announced the latest addition to their Season One line of graphic novels, this time starring everyone's favorite Mary Sue: Wolverine. Wolverine Season One carries on the fine Season One tradition of adapting the origin story of a popular Marvel character or team into a new book in order to make more money.
"People are always complaining about editorial interference in comics," said fake Joe Quesada. "Back in the sixties and seventies, geezers like Stan Lee and Jack Kirby didn't have editorial interference, so if we want our writers to have creative freedom, we'll just make them rewrite these old stories. Genius." He reached his arm awkwardly over his shoulder and patted himself on the back, smiling.
For this shameless reprising of a story that's already been told before, Marvel has brought on Supernatural TV writers Ben Acker and Ben Blacker, whose names sound silly together because they rhyme.
"We knew we were meant to write together," said Acker, "the moment we met. It was..."
"...like destiny," continued Blacker, who we imagine finishes Acker's sentences. "It was like one of those scenes from a cartoon where we saw each other..."
"...and we thought we were looking in the mirror," continued Acker. "You know, where I would put up my hand..."
"...and then I would put up mine at the same time..." said Blacker.
"It was a real riot," they announced together, in perfect synchronization.
Acker and Blacker, who are also famous for their work on the old-timey pastiche, the Thrilling Adventure Hour radio show, will be joined by Salva Espin on art chores.
"They're totally obnoxious to work with," said Espin. "They never stop doing that, talking like Tomax and Xamot from the old Gi Joe cartoon. It's going to send me into a murderous rage."
"Then you'd have a lot in common..." started Blacker.
"...with the hero of our story," finished Acker. They high-fived.
Wolverine Season One will be in stores in June 2013. We'd tell you more about it, but, really, just go read Incredible Hulk #181. It's the same goddamn story.