Halo 4 to Ban 90% of Gamers from Online Play
- Written by Jude Terror on Friday, November 02 2012 and posted in News and Satire
Halo 4's creators have vowed to deliver lifetime bans to anyone making discriminatory comments on the games multiplayer service, which is pretty everyone.
Source: Ars Technica
In a clear case of mawd abuse, the creators of Halo 4 promised today that any players caught making discriminatory comments on the game's multiplayer service would be banned from X-Box Live forever. While sexist, racist, and homophobic talk can always result in a temporary ban from the service, Microsoft looks to be cracking down with the release of Halo 4, which is in stores next week. Unfortunately, Microsoft might be shooting themselves in the foot, as anyone who has ever played a game on X-Box Live knows that the entire service is populated by squeaky-voiced pre-teens whose vocabularies seem to consist primarily of homophobic, racial, and ethnic slurs.
The Outhouse hopped on Call of Doody to ask some gamers for their thoughts on the matter.
"Microsoft are fucking f******s," said one nine year old boy while teabagging our avatar's corpse after killing us four times in a row. "They can suck my fucking dick. Goddamn fucking n*****-lovers."
We reported him for abuse.
The Outhouse applauds Microsoft's efforts to quell hate speech on its online gaming service, but we fear that they'll hardly make a difference. Banned gamers will likely just scream at their moms until they buy them a new X-Box, or simply move on to another bigot-friendly hangout like the Youtube comments section or the Outhouse message boards. In any case, for a few weeks following the release of Halo 4, mature adult gamers might be able to play a game online without getting their asses kicked by a person who has yet to grow their first pubic hair, and, for that, we thank you, Microsoft.
But we still don't think anyone is gonna buy the Surface.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.
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