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Teen Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, November 12 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Teen Sex Scandal Rocks Sesame Street

Kevin Clash, the puppeteer and voice of Sesame Street's Elmo, has been accused of having a relationship with a sixteen year old boy.

Source: LA Times

November 12, 2012, Sesame Street - Humans and monsters everywhere were outraged Monday morning as news broke of a scandal involving puppeteer Kevin Clash, who has been the voice of the lovably obnoxious Elmo for the past twenty-seven years. Clash has taken a leave of absence from Sesame Street after accusations surfaced that he was involved in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a teenage boy.

The boy, now twenty-three, claims that the relationship began when he was sixteen. Clash, however, insists that the boy was eighteen before any buggery occurred. "Elmo loves his goldfish," said Clash, speaking fictitiously to The Outhouse. "And legal sex with consenting, overage boys too."

Clash was recently the subject of the documentary film Being Elmo, which was about as popular as a film depicting the life of a person who portrays one of the most obnoxious characters in children's entertainment can be, and which showed Clash in a flattering light. Sesame Street itself has also been in the spotlight lately after the destruction of star Big Bird became one of the talking points of the Mitt Romney presidential campaign.

The Outhouse, attempting to immerse itself in the seedy underbelly of Elmo's World, attempted to "ask a baby" for its thoughts on the scandal, but the baby responded with nothing but gibberish, because babies can't fucking talk. However, we are reasonably certain that Clash did not molest this particular baby, which is a point in his favor.

Sesame Workshop claims to have conducted an investigation, and Workshop investigator and self-proclaimed "world's greatest detective" Sherlock Hemlock claims that the results were elementary and did not implicate Clash in any kind of wrongdoing. We asked Hemlock if this was a real investigation, or the sort of investigation conducted by organizations such as the Catholic Church or the Boy Scouts of America. Shouting "Egad," Hemlock then excused himself, claiming to have just located a clue in a very important case involving the letter X.

The Outhouse will keep readers appraised of the latest developments of this story, which has been brought to you by our sponsors, the number 16 and, allegedly, the letters p, e, d, and o.


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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