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Grant Morrison Proves Doubters Wrong - Magick is Real

Written by Jude Terror on Monday, November 19 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Grant Morrison Proves Doubters Wrong - Magick is Real

In a new photograph on DC's website, Grant Morrison causes a pen to levitate, finally proving, without a doubt, the existence of magick.

Source: ThanosCopter Newswire

Sorcery and comic book writing have long gone hand-in-hand, with many notable writers, such as esteemed Watchmen scribe Alan Moore, having admitted to being practitioners of witchcraft. Until now, this wizardry has been mostly regarded as eccentricity, but with the revelation that Grant Morrison can indeed cause a pen to levitate, skeptics have no choice but to cede defeat. The proof is in a photograph, embedded below, which shows Morrison causing a pen to levitate between his hands.

"Motherfucker can levitate shit," said notable skeptic Samuel L. Jackson.  "No one can say that whack shit ain't real now."

Despite his conversion to believer, Jackson still expressed a distaste for "bald motherfuckin' whiteys who smirk in photographs."

When asked how he was able to use the dark arts, Morrison said either "It was a photography trick, stupid," or, "I ate the heart of an orphan child," in his thick Scottish brogue. Although we're fairly certain it's the former, there was still a 2000% uptick in adoption filings after Morrison made his comment.

Fearing that their competitors might now possess a tactical advantage, Marvel Comics immediately began looking into whether any of their stranger writers have any latent magickal talent. "We're hoping that we can somehow replicate the formula that gave Grant Morrison these unique powers," said Joe Quesada, proving he has learned absolutely nothing from Marvel's own comics. "What could go wrong?"

When reached for comment, the pen was unable to recall the specific events that led to it being used in Morrison's trickery. "Hmm, I do seem to remember him broaching the subject of showing off his talent for the dark arts," explained the ballpoint. "But the rest of it is pretty hazy. That's Grant for you."

Oh, Grant Morrison!


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About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

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