Monday, April 27, 2015 • Morning Edition • "*the sound you hear when PAC-MAN dies*"

Internet Calls for James Gunn's Head on a Platter in Sexism Witch Hunt

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, November 28 2012 and posted in News with Benefits
Internet Calls for James Gunn's Head on a Platter in Sexism Witch Hunt

The Guardians of the Galaxy director is the latest target of a witch hunt to destroy anyone who makes an off color joke about women on the internet.

Source: Google Cache - Original Post Has Been Deleted

Controversy is raging today over comments James Gunn made about Batwoman in 2011. Apparently, Gunn regularly runs a poll on his Tumblr asking which comic book characters his fans would like to have sex with.

In response to the result, Gunn posted the following comments about Batwoman, who ranked #32 on the poll:

The lesbian character was voted for almost exclusively by men. I don't know exactly what that means. But I'm hoping for a Marvel-DC crossover so that Tony Stark can "turn" her. She could also have sex with Nightwing and probably still be technically considered a lesbian.

Gunn didn't stop there. About toxic DC character Stephanie Brown, #34, Gunn said:

Being a teen mom and all, you know she’s easy. Go for it.

About Wonder Woman, #1:

It seems like many guys out there are hoping she’ll lasso their penises and make them tell the truth.

The comments have been decried as sexist, misogynistic, and homophobic by popular geek girl website "The Mary Sue," and, of course, by every person with a Tumblr account, despite the fact that most fans of Nightwing would be willing to sleep with the character regardless of sexuality. Gunn's detractors assert that his monstrous comments are not befitting a person who will direct a major comic book movie, and that Stephanie Brown should have ranked much higher on the list. They believe that Gunn should be fired from the movie and probably that his penis should be tarred and feathered, though the obvious sexual deviant might enjoy that.

At first glance, this may seem like an overreaction to a person who is simply encouraging his fans to have sexual fantasies about fictional characters, some of which are underage, but The Outhouse, which supports the rights of overly-sensitive thought police to censor all jokes on the internet, for the greater good, conducted an extensive investigation into Gunn's history and uncovered some disturbing facts.

As everyone knows, when not writing or directing successful movies like Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2, Gunn hosts the popular fashion reality television show Project Runway. It is a well known fact that all contestants on the show are either gay, women, or gay women, but despite their legally protected status as sacred cows, Gunn has critiqued the work of the aspiring designers on almost every episode. How he has never been charged with a hate crime is mind-boggling.

Even more shocking, an investigation into Gunn's former career as a professional wrestler reveals more horrendous homophobic actions. As part of the tag team Billy and Chuck, Gunn falsely portrayed himself as a gay man in love with his partner. The pair, at the behest of their manager Rico, staged a fake gay marriage which they called off at the last minute, revealing that they were actually heterosexual, another term for homophobic. We expect behavior like this on the internet, but in a professional wrestling ring, where the standards of decency have always been impeccably high, we want better.

If this kind of outrageous behavior is allowed to go unpunished, who knows how far it could set back the civil rights movement. Soon, we may find ourselves in a society where people make jokes, and other people are free to find them funny or not funny, based on their own preferences. Can you imagine such a terrible place? Clearly, Gunn needs to be fired from Guardians of the Galaxy immediately and replaced by someone who is willing to have all of his Tumblr postings pre-approved by the Ministry of Truth.

Until such a time as Disney recognizes the thoughtcrimes of Gunn and his ilk and removes him from directing responsibilities on Guardians, The Outhouse urges its readers to boycott Disney's otherwise progressive movies, such as Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Though these movies present a positive view of the role of women in society, we have no choice but to hit them where it hurts, in their wallets.

So please join us, readers, in eradicating all off-color humor from the internet, and, eventually, the real world as well. We owe it to our children to ensure that they grow up in a sanitized, unfunny society where everyone's feelings are respected no matter how irrational or ridiculous.

Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.  Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work.  Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.


More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!