The beleaguered comics publisher is holding meetings all day, leading many to fear the worst.
Source: Bleeding Cool
Rumor-monger and worry-wort Rich Johnston is reporting, in two separate articles, that DC Comics, a multinational corporation, is having meetings today. As this is something that never occurs in any major corporate entity, ever, we have to assume that something terrible is going on.
Employees were alarmed by the email informing staff that there would be meetings. "Are we expected to start coordinating stuff with one another?" said one staffer. "I thought that sort of thing went out with the New 52."
In order to find our more about what these "meetings" could mean, The Outhouse sent investigative reporter and Outhouse Newsroom anchor ThanosCopter out to interview business professionals from various industries for their take on what the meetings could mean.
"Meetings... meetings..." said Christopher Hasslehoffer, an investment banker. "Never heard of 'em."
"Meetings?" said Champ Chapperson, a government cog. "The government doesn't believe in meetings. It's clearly spelled out in our 2,378 page government employee manual."
"Meetings are so 20th century," said Jade Cullo, a new age internet specialist. "My company has free-thinking shout sessions in which we thoughtspeak our ideas to the heavens using iPads."
"A Vertigo attack, deadly meeting weapons?" asked Ben Brau, an IT professional. "Meetings... My god."
There you have it. If ever there was a time to panic, dear readers, it is today. Just yesterday, Karen Berger, beloved head of DC's Vertigo imprint, announced that she would be stepping down from the position and leaving DC Comics, news which boded well for no one, especially Vertigo.
Could these "meetings" signal the end of Vertigo? Could it involve the company closing up shop in New York City and moving to Burbank, California? Could DC be moving out of the comics publishing business entirely in order to focus on producing Watchmen themed kitchen appliances? Could DC have heard that Rich Johnston was planning to run a story about them having meetings, and rushed to schedule a days worth of meetings to discuss it?
Frankly, any of these things are plausible, as far as we're concerned. We'll keep you posted as soon as Johnston's inside source at DC Comics, Rich Johnston in a skirt, blouse, and wig disguised as Geoff Johns' secretary, finds out more and publishes a third article, likely titled DC Meetings Cover Business Strategies and Team Synergy.