The Wolverine Movie Poster Reveals Fox Attempt to Double Down on Crappy Effects
- Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, December 13 2012 and posted in News and Satire
Fox has released a poster for the upcoming Wolverine movie, with animated gif special effects.
Source: Bleeding Cool
Fox has released the poster for The Wolverine, in both regular and animated gif form. The animated gif is exactly the same as the regular poster, except that it has very cheaply animated rain. In 2009, a leaked copy of Wolverine Origins was posted on the internet by pirate Gilberto Sanchez. The version of the movie was laughed at for his comically unpolished special effects, causing the company to believe that Sanchez cost them millions of dollars in revenue. Sanchez was sentenced to a year in prison, and Wolverine: Origins went on to be widely regarded as "worse than even X3: The Last Stand."
This time around, it seems that Fox hasn't learned its lesson. Or has it?
"We're hedging our bets," said George "20th Century" Fox, president of Fox. "If the movie tanks, we're not going to let people say it was because of poor writing or the fact that Wolverine is an obnoxious Mary Sue character that people are sick of. We're going to blame it on the negative reaction to the special effects in the movie poster."
It would seem, however, that Fox is missing a crucial part of the equation this time. They have a reason for failure, but not a scapegoat. Without a person to sue for releasing the movie prematurely, the company would have no one to blame but themselves for the movie's failure.
"Well, I've gotta be going now..." said George Fox, as he casually dropped a DVD containing an advance copy of the film on the floor.
"I'm not falling for that," we told him.
"Oh, come on!" pleaded Fox, clearly desperate, as he tried to place the DVD into our hands. "Just post it on Usenet or something! We need a backup plan here!"
"I'm not going to do that, George," we protested. "I'm not going to jail."
"Don't you care about Hollywood?" he asked, agitated, before storming out.
"Not even I'm that stupid," said Bleeding Cool's Rich Johnston, who was hanging from the ceiling like a Ninja. He dropped a smoke pellet and disappeared.
The Wolverine, which places Wolverine in Japan for the umpteenth rehashing of his stupid samurai gimmick, will be in theaters July 16, 2013.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably.
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