Comic Industrialist of the Year Award Nominee: Wolverine
- Written by The Outhouse Newsroom on Tuesday, December 18 2012 and posted in News and Satire
Another nominee for the most prestigious award ever to be handed out on the Internet.
Source: The Outhouse Newsroom
The Outhouse Newsroom has decided to honor the best and brightest the comic book industry has to offer by naming one lucky schmuck "Comic Industrialist of the Year". The Comic Industrialist of the Year is that special person who we feel has contributed the most to the comic book industry this year. It could be a writer, an artist, an editor, a journalist, a fictional character, or someone else entirely. All that matters is that we feel they're somehow important to the comic book industry.
We'll be naming one nominee each business day through the end of the year (unless we forget about it posting a nominee). We'll announce the winner on the 31st.
Today's Nominee: Wolverine
Resume
- Undisputed Leader of the X-Men.
- Member of the Avengers. Allegedly being prepped for a leadership position.
- Is the best at what at what he does, even if it's not pretty.
- Considered to be the second most overexposed character in comic books (next to Batman).
- One of only two Avengers to successfully run a death squad.
- Most beloved mass murderer in the comic book industry.
Notable Accomplishments of 2012
- Killed the only Antarctic polar bear in existence.
- Successfully brought down the Summers family by expertly manipulating Captain America into starting a war with Cyclops, turning Cable into a fugitive and shaming Havok into joining a team with Wanda "I decimated the mutant population and got away with it" Maximoff.
- Successfully shed his "single father" label by killing all of his children.
Why He Should Win the Award
He's the Tywin Lannister of the Marvel Universe. He ruthlessly manipulates his allies into waging war on his enemies and then snatches up power after they've all fallen or been disgraced.
Why He Shouldn't Win the Award
He's the Ultimate Mary Sue of the Marvel Universe. Best friend to all the favorite superheroes, lover to all the hottest females, and a stoic loner samurai who happens to run a school full of children, is considered to be the voice of his people, and runs a kewl mutant death squad on the side. Also, Wolverines suck ass.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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