Sunday, May 20, 2018 • Afternoon Edition • "Tom Brennan's worst nightmare."

Marvel's Journey Into Mystery Teaser Offensive to Fat Bastards

Written by Jude Terror on Thursday, January 10 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Marvel's Journey Into Mystery Teaser Offensive to Fat Bastards

Marvel has released a teaser for Journey Into Mystery which makes fat people feel bad.

Source: Press Release

The latest Marvel NOW! teaser, titled "Ravenous," reveals that Italian artist Matteo Scalera will be taking over art chores on Journey Into Mystery in April, but the teaser is making waves on the internet as it is offensive to lard-asses, fatsos, and blubber-butts. The teaser shows Volstagg, one of the Warriors Three, holding a turkey leg instead of a weapon like the other characters. This clearly implies that all Norse gods are gluttons, which is a very damaging stereotype.

"I'm highly offended by this," said fat Outhouse reporter Jude Terror, who has been known to talk to himself in articles. "People think its funny to laugh at jokes, but they don't realize that it's promoting institutionalized fatism and setting back the equal rights movement for fatties by fifty years."

Fat people aren't the only ones offended by the teaser. Crybabies of all sizes have taken up the cause as well. "This isn't offensive on the level of Big Bang Theory," said Gus Sterlingham, a professional white knight, "but I've still blocked 15 people on Facebook and cried three times today over it."

"Waaahhhh," added Sterlingham.

The Outhouse hopes that Marvel can learn to be more responsible with these teasers, but honestly, it may simply be too late. At this point, anything anyone does is likely to be offensive to someone, so it might be best if everyone just locked themselves in their houses and never spoke to or even looked at another human being. This is probably the only way to ensure that everyone's rights and feelings are protected in the way we all deserve.

Luckily, comic book fans, socially awkward shut-ins by nature, have already begun this process.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!