Wednesday, April 25, 2018 • Morning Edition • "For when life fails you."

Bruce Willis Commits Career Suicide, Supports Bill of Rights

Written by Jude Terror on Wednesday, February 06 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Bruce Willis Commits Career Suicide, Supports Bill of Rights

Bruce Willis spoke out in support of the second amendment at a Die Hard promotional event, risking a political shitstorm

Source: Hero Complex

Bruce Willis spoke to the Associated Press as part of the promotional tour for A Good Day to Die Hard, so naturally he had the following to say about gun control:

I think that you can’t start to pick apart anything out of the Bill of Rights without thinking that it’s all going to become undone. If you take one out or change one law, then why wouldn’t they take all your rights away from you?

Support of constitutional rights like the first and second amendments is, of course, contrary to everything that liberal Hollywood and an internet-censorship driven entertainment industry stands for (liberals and conservatives both agree on the abolishment of the rights in amendments three through seven). Willis also denied allegations that glorification of violence in entertainment media is to blame for real life violence, which should also anger conservatives, who are traditionally in favor of censoring anything that liberals are not in favor of censoring.

"I think there is a lot of common ground between liberals and conservatives," said a teary-eyed Republican House Speaker John Boehner, who is, as his name implies, a giant penis. There was no particular reason for the tears. He just cries a lot.

"We are both in favor of slowly taking away the basic rights of the American people, as Bruce Willis is afraid of," he told us. "We just disagree on which ones should go first. Conservatives would prefer to eliminate the right to happiness, while liberals would prefer to eliminate the right to liberty. We are both in favor of eliminating the right to life, as our mutual support of drone strikes and the assassination of American citizens under suspicion of terrorism proves."

Boehner then left to meet up with professional wrestler Hulk Hogan at the Grotesque Orange Tanning Salon.

"As a person who was integral in the advancement of gay rights by playing a person who was integral in the advancement of gay rights in a movie, I'm appalled that Bruce Willis would violate the sanctity of Hollywood's liberal activism by having an opinion that disagrees with our approved groupthink," commented Sean Penn, the leader of liberal Hollywood and a douchebag.

For Willis, it seems like an impossible situation to win in, which is why it's usually advisable for celebrities (and politicians) to keep politics out of entertainment, but The Outhouse applauds Willis for standing up for what he believes in, regardless of the potential career suicide he's in danger of committing.

Maybe once his movie career is over, he should run for president. He couldn't possibly do worse than Ronald Reagan.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!