Thursday, May 24, 2018 • Midnight Edition • "We're the god damn Outhousers."

Outhouse Staff Writer Scoops Front Page on Age of Ultron #7 Teaser

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, February 08 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Outhouse Staff Writer Scoops Front Page on Age of Ultron #7 Teaser

Outhouse staff writer IvCNuB4 posts the latest Age of Ultron teaser in the forums to spite ThanosCopter for all his DC jokes in articles this morning.

Source: The Outhouse Forums

It's tough to be a fan of DC Comics these days. The company's boneheaded decision-making is often so comically inept that it's difficult to tell the difference between a real DC announcement and one we made up for laughs. The pressure of this stressful lifestyle has finally gotten to Outhouse staff writer IvCNuB4, a huge DC fan, who cracked this morning and spitefully published a news story about Marvel's latest Age of Ultron teaser... on the FORUMS!

"Let's see ThanosCopter make fun of this one after the Outhouse forums use up all the good jokes," gloated B4, his eyes darting around nervously. "He and his cronies have only got four or five jokes they recycle for every article anyway. Odds are, the forum posters will use them all up before Copter even has a chance!"

"That's not true," shouted an indignant* Jude Terror, in a quote we made up.* "That type of unoriginality might fly over at Bleeding Cool,* but here at The Outhouse, we would never take our journalistic responsibilities as anything less than 100% serious.* I see where IvCNuB4 is coming from, but scooping us with a forum thread is a real cheap shot, like making fun of Scott Snyder's third nipple.*"

"I'm not angry though," Terror continued, frowning. "I just hope that the lack of an article properly making fun of this Age of Ultron teaser doesn't cause any harm to distraught readers who rely on The Outhouse for their daily dose of hastily written satire.*"

In any case, B4's attack was a rousing success. Besides the reporter's own joke that the teaser below features "50% more scars and missing eyes," forum commenters rushed to take all the good jokes only moments after the forum thread appeared.

"Crossover alert: that's not Steve Rogers. Eyepatch and that scar? That's John Lynch," said one commenter, while another added, "That's Wasp as Quasar, Cap as Nick Fury and Cyclops as Cable, FYI."

"Excessive pouches and scars?" asked a third. "Check. A character that doesn't need a handgun carrying around a handgun? Check. Robotic arm? Check. If I didn't know any better, I would swear that its the 1990's all over again!"

Luckily, a professional reporter like Jude Terror isn't going to be deterred by something as trivial as a lack of anything original to say. "Hell, I could probably just make an article about not being able to make an article," said Jude Terror, smugly. "Our readers are too stupid to realize how lazy I'm being anyway.*"

That part is probably true.

"See?" Terror concluded, after going back over his article and counting the jokes. "We don't just have four or five jokes. We have at least seven or eight.*"

Age of Ultron #7 (yes, this article is actually about something) hits stores in may. Enjoy the teaser below.

  1. Pretend to be offended when we're not - joke archetype #1
  2. Making up quotes - joke archetype #2
  3. Mocking Rich Johnston - joke archetype #3
  4. Pretending to be real journalists - joke archetype #4
  5. Cheap joke at a creator's expense which creator might unexpectedly read and throw a tantrum on Twitter or Facebook over - joke archetype #5
  6. Act like the comic industry has a serious impact in the real world - joke archetype #6
  7. Insult our readers - joke archetype #7
  8. Deny obvious truth based on technicality - joke archtype #8


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!