Biblical Scholars Ponder Apocalyptical Connotations of Marvel Mr. Potato Heads
- Written by ThanosCopter on Monday, February 11 2013 and posted in News and Satire
Prominent scholars wonder whether the new Marvel Potato Head Dolls are a sign that the apocalypse is coming.
Source: Marvel Press Release
Already reeling from the shock resignation of Pope Benedict XVI, biblical scholars are debating whether the new Marvel themed Mr. Potato Head dolls are a sign that the Apocalypse is on the way. Some scholars are claiming that the toys, which show Mr. Potato Head dressed as Wolverine, Iron Man and Thor, match one of the warnings found in the Book of Revelations.
The passage in question reads "And from the East came a drunk, a murderer and a pagan. Though they shall appear clean and egg-shaped, they will be hollow idols and all shall despair." (Revelations 6:66).
"I think it's pretty clear that these 'toys' are a work of Satan," said Dr. Thaddeus G. Garfunkel, Professor of Dinosaur-Human Relations at East Podunk Bible College. "These toys, which are manufactured in China, aka the Orient, aka the EAST, are egg-shaped and are empty inside. This is definitely a sign that the world is ending"
However, not everyone is so convinced that the toys are a mash made in hell. "They're toys," said Robert Smith, a regular churchgoer residing in Pensecola Florida. "And I don't think that's a real Bible verse."
That hasn't stopped the Internet from speculating on the toys' implications. "First Pope Benedict resigns, causing the utter collapse of the Catholic Church," said ITweetNonsense, one of thousands of Twitter users who make stupid, ill-conceived remarks about current events. "Then Geoff Johns gets himself fired from Green Lantern, and now this? Any second now, there's going to be a flood that will wipe us all out, just like the Bible says."
Many are taking a "wait and see" approach to the toys. "I haven't decided if these things are a sign the world is ending or not," said one Internet commenter. "But the way people have been behaving online today, maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Hell on Earth came to wipe humanity out." The toys come out Summer 2013.
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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