DC to Fill Green Lantern Vacancies with More 90s Writers
- Written by ThanosCopter on Tuesday, February 12 2013 and posted in News and Satire
DC plans on filling writing positions with more writers from the 90s.
Source: ThanosCopter NewsBeat
DC plans to fill the vacancies from May's "Green Lantern Exodus" with more 90s writers, the Outhouse has learned. With writing positions opening up in Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Green Lantern: New Guardians and Red Lanterns in addition to six new titles being launched that month, Bob Harras has had to pull out his rolodex and bring in some unlikely names to write for the company.
"While we were discussing our plans for the new holofoil gatefold polybag Trinity War #1 yesterday, I realized that there were a few writers that I hadn't drudged up from back in the day," Bob Harras is rumored to have said. "So I pulled out my delightfully large cell phone and gave them a buzz!"
"Bill Messner Loebs, Devin Grayson, Len Strazewski, Roger Stern," Dan Didio added. "These are the names that people have been clamoring for since we started this relaunch two years ago. We're going to party like it's 1995!"
Some of the writers seemed eager to explore DC's new continuity and characters. "Red Lanterns?" said Messner Loebs, the new writer of Red Lanterns. "Back in my day, we only had one type of Lantern. It was green and people were grateful for it. Kids these days, thinking that they deserve different colors of Lanterns!"
"I'm gonna do to Kyle Rayner what I did to Dick Grayson," added Devin Grayson, an almost too gleeful smile on her face.
Other writers were not so enthused. "I was enjoying my quiet retirement in Aruba," said Roger Stern, while wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt. "And then Harras called me up and said I had to write Green Lantern Corps. I just wish that he wasn't still blackmailing me for that thing I did to that guy back in the day. Anyways, Green Lantern Corps, those are the guys with the goblin gliders, right?"
Fans were also eager to see the wrtiers make their return to mainstream comics. "Who the hell are these people?" said eighteen year old reader Aiden Matthews. "I wasn't even born when these people wrote comics last!"
DC is optimistic that these writers will bring a fresh new voice to the Green Lantern franchise. "I was going to call Howard Mackie about Green Lantern since he hasn't written anything in a while," said Harras. "Then I realized, he was sitting in the room, complaining about the fact that we just pulled him off Ravagers. That was awkward. So we got Len Strazewski to do it, instead. I'm sure he'll do a good job."
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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