The Empire Strikes Back screenwriter gave the media no information about the new Star Wars movies, so they just made something up.
Source: MTV News
Okay, we get it. People are excited about the new Star Wars movies, first announced when Disney purchased Lucasfilm back in October. They're happy that we're going to get a new trilogy set after the events of the original trilogy, they're happy that we're going to get some spinoff movies set in the same universe, and they're happy that Lawrence Kasdan, the guy who wrote Empire Freaking Strikes Back, will be writing one or more of them. But as Disney and remains relatively tight-lipped about the details, the online geek media appears to have lost it's goddamn mind, with otherwise reasonable blogs firing off articles whenever any of the people even tangentially involved with the production of the movies makes a peep.
Take the latest story from MTV Movie Blog, for example, which published this quote from Lawrence Kasdan:
Things haven't been great. We're trying something different that will hopefully bring us back to where we were, but it will be new at the same time.
Oh, so that's a useful bit of information. MTV Geek even went on to link to their sister site with the headline NO THRAWN TRILOGY. Except... what the fuck?! Kasdan didn't actually say that! Let's take a look at the article again:
Essentially, it sounds like Kasdan is saying, "Things haven't been great. We're trying something different that will hopefully bring us back to where we were, but it will be new at the same time." We're paraphrasing, of course, but the rest of what Kasdan said fits that bill.
"Essentially?" "It sounds like he's saying...?" Holy shit! They just made that goddamn quote up. That's our shtick! So what did Kasdan really say?
"I'm trying to start fresh," Kasdan said. "There are certain pleasures that we think the saga can bring to people that they've been missing, and we're hoping to bring them that, and at the same time, have them feel that it's all new."
Oh, so pretty much nothing. He wants the movie to appeal to people. He's not going to simply rehash old ideas. Well, no shit!
MTV Geek wasn't alone. Let's see what Slashfilm had to say about the same quote:
When asked about published reports that the spin-off movies might focus on Yoda, a young Han Solo or Boba Fett, Kasdan would not confirm the rumors but insisted that “he wasn’t focusing on his previous scripts or on the extended Star Wars universe in his approach to writing the new film.” This is an interesting quote which could be read a number of ways. Does it mean they won’t look at the expanded universe backstory of Han Solo to help lay the groundwork for a young Solo spin-off movie?
Are you kidding me? "It can be read a number of ways?" Is that code for "we can make up whatever we want using this quote and no one can call bullshit because it's so vague that it can't be proven that he didn't mean whatever nonsense we're making up?"
Holy crap, guys! *slaps the geek media across the face* Get ahold of yourselves! Well, if no one else is gonna do it, I guess it'll be left to The Outhouse of all sites to provide an objective report:
Lawrence Kasdan gave an interview to the LA Times. He avoided giving any real details about the Star Wars movies because he's working for Disney and Disney hasn't released that information yet. They don't want their employees running around leaking spoilers willy nilly. Kasdan is a professional. He's not going to risk his job and defy the Mouse just so that bored bloggers can cream their pants over the latest nonsensical rumor. So... go ahead and read the interview if you want, but don't expect to find out anything concrete about this movies until Disney holds a damn press conference and tells you.
See, readers, this is why you should just stick with The Outhouse. When we make up quotes and ridiculous speculation, at least we're doing it to be funny. This... this is just sad.
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About the Author - Jude Terror
Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. Ironically, our webmaster, whose website skills know no end, has very little understanding of social networks or how they work. Regardless, you can find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, but would probably have the most luck just emailing him.
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