The new Stormwatch writer plans to change everything. EVERYTHING!
Jim Starlin is famous for writing basically the same Thanos story over and over, to great success mind you, at Marvel Comics. Fans of that story were excited to hear that Starlin would be taking over DC's Stormwatch, and they'll be even more excited about the changes he has in store. In an interview with Newsarama, Starlin promised that "everything you know about the series, up until that point, is altered: new outfits, characters, villains."
The Outhouse found this intriguing, so we contacted Starlin for a follow-up interview. He ignored us, of course, because we're industry pariahs, so we decided to just imagine how the interview would have probably gone if he'd agreed to talk to us:
OH: So you're going to change things up in Stormwatch?
Starlin: Yeah, I felt like it was time for something different, you know?
OH: So what can we expect? How will the characters change?
Starlin: Well, I'm thinking we'll get some new looks to start with. Apollo, for instance, will get a new costume, basically nude, silver kind of look. Oh, and he'll ride a flying surfboard.
OH: Oh. Well, that's...
Starlin: And Martian Manhunter will change too. I think readers are tired of the bald, green look. We're going to give him some hair, and change his color to golden. He'll have a soul gem on his head.
OH: Yeah, that's... you know what, let's talk about something else. You mentioned new villains?
Starlin: Oh, readers are gonna love this! I'm thinking that the team should face off against someone new. I'm going to introduce a cosmic villain with unlimited power and an obsession with death. He'll be purple and have a wrinkly chin. I call him Anos.
Starlin: Anos! And it's gonna be a really interesting story. Anos learns of six magical stones that, when combined, grant the wielder all of the power in the universe. Stormwatch will have to gather all of the heroes in the DC Universe to stop him. But ultimately, it will be Anos who stops himself, thanks to his self-defeating nihilism.
OH: This all sounds kind of familiar.
Starlin: I have no idea what you're talking about.
OH: Thank you for your time.
Starlin's Stormwatch run begins in April. You can read his "real" interview over at Newsarama.