...and fans feel old as hell when they realize the series is fifteen years old.
Source: Robot 6
In September, fans of the hugely popular Harry Potter novels will get a special treat in the form of the opportunity to pay for the books all over again when Scholastic releases a paperback box set of all seven novels with brand new covers by Kazu Kibuishi, creator of the bestselling comics and graphic novels Copper, Daisy Kutter, and Amulet (three separate series, not one with a long title). Fans will also be treated to an unexpected dose of depression when they realize that the first Harry Potter book came out fifteen years ago, in 1998, which was an entirely different century.
"The covers look really nice," said Mildred Bland, a longtime fan of the series from Fort Worth, TX. "But I hadn't really thought about how long it's been since the books first came out. I mean, time is funny, isn't it? When you're younger, it moves so slow, but the older you get..."
"I'm a fan of both Harry Potter and Kazu Kibuishi, so I'm doubly excited about this," said Joseph Felder of New Britain, CT. "Or at least I was, until the whole thing made me start thinking about my own mortality. I'm gonna die, man. We're all gonna die."
Many fans reported noticing some wrinkles around their eyes and cheeks shortly after learning about the fifteenth anniversary edition of the series, which, at over 450 million copies sold, is the most successful of all time. The realization about the transient nature of human existence has put many readers into a dark mood. People who read the news on blogs and websites this morning were forced to wonder if they had made all the right choices in life and whether or not they would have done things differently if they had realized when they were younger how short life really is.
"I wanted to be an astronaut," mused Dale Hatton, a school administrator in Hyannis, MA. "Why did I give up on my dream? Why?!"
The psychiatric health community is already preparing for the September launch of the box set, anticipating that depression and suicide rates may skyrocket. "Usually the winter holidays are the most depressing time of year," said Dr. Grace Foster, a psychiatrist in Cleveland, OH, "but things may change when more people learn that Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone came out a decade and a half ago. We can only hope that people recognize the symptoms of depression in themselves and others and seek help where required."
Asked if she was a fan of the books, Dr. Foster admitted to enjoying the movies. "I've prescribed myself 20mg of Prozac, to be taken once each morning," she told us. "I'm pretty happy with my life right now, but you never know."
The first of Kibuishi's covers is revealed below. It depicts a young Harry Potter and the lovable half-giant, Hargrid, exploring wizarding community Diagon Alley for the first time. Each of the covers will depict a memorable moment for the series. "I'm a fan of the series, so I wanted to make people happy," is what we imagine Kibuishi would have told us if we bothered to contact him for an interview. "I didn't really think about the negative emotional impact nostalgia can have on some people, but revisiting memories that many of us have carried with us since childhood can be bittersweet."
"Just thinking about Harry, eleven years old, discovering a huge, magical world full of wonder and possibility, is a stark contrast to the shackles of ordinary adult life," Kibuishi would have continued. "You have to excuse me. I've got to call my friends and family and let them know I love them.