Viewers and coworkers were very upset to learn that ABC plans to recast, you know, that guy who plays the Mad Hatter.
The Hollywood Reporter broke the story this morning on Disney-owned ABC's intentions to recast the role of the Mad Hatter in their popular fairy tale drama Once Upon a Time, sparking an outcry of support for the actor who plays him currently. Ol' whatshisname, you see, has commitments to fulfill on Captain America: The Winter Soldier, where he plays, spoiler alert, Bucky Barnes. The news was heartbreaking to many fans, who called the actor's performances on the show "almost memorable," as well as his co-workers, who were said to be somewhat somber in the wake of the news.
"I'm really going to miss working with... um..." said series star, er, you know, the blonde chick from House. "Dammit! I should know this!"
"He was my nineteenth favorite character on the show," said viewer Dorothy Ezell of Sagino, MI. "Right behind Hurley from LOST, William Smee, and Stealthy the Dwarf (RIP). He will be missed."
The actor, whose name is right on the tip of our tongues, we swear, is exiting the series at an inopportune time, as ABC is also reportedly considering a spinoff starring his character. ABC views the Once Upon a Time Universe as a goldmine that allows near indefinite mining of classic stories for material, a godsend for a creatively void Hollywood.
"Don't tell anyone, but we haven't had a single new idea since 1999's The Matrix," a big-time Hollywood executive told us on the condition of anonymity. "And that was lackluster at best."
Like fans everywhere who are "pretty sure they didn't mind that guy," The Outhouse mourns Once Upon a Time's loss of mumblemumble, an invaluable cast member we're sure, though we look forward to quickly forgetting the name of his replacement.