The comic book website feels that Kimmel's stale humor and overreliance on dated pop culture references would be a good fit on the site.
Source: ThanosCopter Newswire
Last night, Jimmy Kimmel released a fake trailer for "Movie: The Movie 2", a sequel to a fake movie trailer he made up last year. The clip, which lampooned the Avengers movie, was loaded with stale pop culture references and tepid jokes, and caused most viewers to chuckle twice at best. After seeing Kimmel's groanworthy clip, the Outhouse has decided that he'd be a perfect fit for the staff and has offered him a lucrative job offer.
"Kimmel's long been the unfunniest late night host on television," said Christian Hoffer, cigar chomping editor of the Outhouse. "With his tendency to use the same jokes over and over again and his over reliance on absurd celebrity humor to garner any sort of following whatsoever, we feel that he already understands the Outhouse's patented brand of wringing every last laugh out of our readers while leaving them feeling dead inside."
"We knew we'd have to pay top dollar to get a marquee comedy star," said Outhouse owner Robert Morris. "So we settled for getting Jimmy Kimmel instead. No one would actually pay for jokes that bad!"
Kimmel's lengthy resume is well matched for the Outhouse. Kimmel was a founding host of The Man Show, a show that celebrated stereotypical male behavior and featured girls in skimpy clothing. He'll fit right in at The Outhouse, which receives approximately 30% of its traffic from perverts searching for nude pictures of Supergirl. The Outhouse plans on using Kimmel to supplement the site's satire section, which has received acclaims such as "the unfunniest thing I've ever read" and "Is this a real article?" from various online sources.
The Outhouse also plans to make use of Kimmel's crack interviewing skills. "We've long looked to make inroads into interviewing," said Hoffer. "With Kimmel's ability to ask questions without any substance whatsoever, we're sure to be every comic publisher's go to destination for fluff interviews!"
Perhaps the best part about Kimmel's hiring at the Outhouse is that he'll no longer be able to host Jimmy Kimmel Live. "When we first entered into negotiations with ABC, we thought that they'd balk at giving up Kimmel," said Robert Morris. "But we quickly took care of that by offering them a stray kitten we found in a back alley. We got Jimmy Kimmel, and they got Jimmy Kitten Live! In hindsight, I think they got the better deal."
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About the Author - ThanosCopter
ThanosCopter is a specially designed helicopter built to transport Thanos the Mad Titan. Built by Sterling Custom Helicopters, ThanosCopter appeared in several Marvel comics, before being abandoned by its owner during the character's ascension into major villainy. ThanosCopter was discovered by the Outhouse and given a second chance at life. He now buzzes merrily around the comic book industry, spreading snark, satire and humor like candy to small children.
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