Friday, April 27, 2018 • Morning Edition • "Outhouser?! We barely know her!"

Perverts Rejoice at Rumors Emma Watson Will Play Cinderella

Written by Jude Terror on Friday, March 01 2013 and posted in News with Benefits
Perverts Rejoice at Rumors Emma Watson Will Play Cinderella

The Harry Potter star is reportedly up for the role in Disney's live-action remake.

Source: Variety

Despite the fact that fans of the Harry Potter movies basically watched her grow up on screen, it is totally appropriate to lust after Emma Watson, who played eleven-year-old Hermione Granger in 2001's Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. The actress is twenty-two now, and there's absolutely no reason to suggest that fanboys twice her age didn't view the talented young woman in a completely non-sexual manner until she turned 18 on April 15, 2010. That's why there's nothing creepy about the excitement we're seeing from certain parties over rumors Watson will play Cinderella in an upcoming Disney movie.

"I think Emma will do a great job as Cinderella," said forty-seven year-old Arthur Grant, proprietor of the now defunct website, "I can't wait to see her in a filthy maid's uniform."

While Watson is the preferred choice of lecherous old men everywhere, Grant has some backup choices for the role in case things don't pan out. "Dakota Fanning would work for me as well," he told us, while masturbating furiously.

Not everyone is pleased with the choice, however. Some misogynists are complaining that Watson isn't good enough for the role.

"I actually don't think she's hot enough to play Cinderella," said message board poster AnimeFan76. "The original Cinderella had a sort of grace and essence to her that Watson just doesn't have. Also, the animated Cinderella had much bigger boobs."

It's tough for real-life actresses to live up to the perfect proportions of cartoon and comic book women, but if you want your movie to succeed with the highly coveted internet creep demographic, having an on-screen history as a pre-pubescent child is probably your best bet.

Cinderella is set to begin production in 2014, with Kenneth Branagh directing.


Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

Comment without an Outhouse Account using Facebook

We get it. You don't feel like signing up for an Outhouse account, even though it's FREE and EASY! That's okay. You can comment with your Facebook account below and we'll take care of adding it to the stream above. But you really should consider getting a full Outhouse account, which will allow you to quote posts, choose an avatar and sig, and comment on our forums too. If that sounds good to you, sign up for an Outhouse account by clicking here.

Note: while you are welcome to speak your mind freely on any topic, we do ask that you keep discussion civil between each other. Nasty personal attacks against other commenters is strongly discouraged. Thanks!
Help spread the word, loyal readers! Share this story on social media:

About the Author - Jude Terror

Jude Terror is the Webmaster Supreme of The Outhouse and a sarcastic ace reporter dedicated to delivering irreverent comics and entertainment news to The Outhouse's dozens of loyal readers. Driven by a quest for vengeance, Jude Terror taught himself to program and joined The Outhouse. He instantly began working toward his goal of forcing the internet comics community to take itself less seriously and failing miserably. A certified trash eater ruining the pristine field of comics journalism with his sarcasm and goofiness, Jude Terror is secretly friendly and congenial, so if you've got a complaint, why not just bring it up to him instead of subtweeting like a jackass, jackass? You can find him on Twitter or try your luck with an email, but keep in mind that he is notoriously unreliable and may not get back to you right away. Unless you want to send him free stuff, in which case he'll get back to you immediately.

More articles from Jude Terror
The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading this website. All original content copyright the author. Banner by Ali Jaffery - he's available for commission!